Page 46 of The Lover
“So you want to know about the trip… Wait, what did you just say?”
I took in a big girl breath and said it again. “I’m pregnant. I realized the day you left that I missed my period for May and again for June. So I bought three tests and took them and… I’m pregnant.”
* * *
Jake
“And… I’m pregnant.”
It was weird, but it felt the exact way it did when Sam died. We’d been herding the cows to the south pasture. I had been maybe a half a mile away when I saw him grab his arm. Then he’d just teetered off his horse. I’d rode to him as fast as I could and by the time I got there he was dead. CPR hadn’t worked. After thirty minutes of breathing and chest compressions, I knew he was dead. And everything was changed and nothing was ever going to be like it was before.
I had that same feeling now. Like I couldn’t process it.
Ellie was pregnant. With my baby.
Ellie was pregnant with my baby.
It was shocking. It was life-altering, but it had happened.
“Yeah. Pretty heady stuff,” she said.
I looked up at her and thought how amazing she was. Because once again thisthinghappened to her. We’d used a condom every time. She didn’t want to get pregnant. Just like she didn’t want to lose her dad, or get married at sixteen, or lose half her herd. Yet every time life punched her in the face, she didn’t cry or wail or say how unfair it was.
No, she just took it in stride and kept moving forward.
I should have said that to her. I should have said just that. That Ellie Samson was the most amazing, strong, beautiful woman I had ever met. That I was the luckiest sonofabitch in the world because she wanted to be with me.
That this woman was going to be mother of my child.
I didn’t say that. Why didn’t I say that?
“We have to get married.” That’s what I said.
She bit her bottom lip and nodded. “That’s what I figured you would say.”
I reached across the table and put my hand on top of hers. I had to make her understand.
“Ellie, you know we do. This is Riverbend. People aren’t going to…”
She slid her hand out from mine.
Why was I talking about what people would think? Why did I care?
I should have asked her. I should have asked her to marry me. That would have been better. But it’s not like we had a choice.
“Yep. I know, Jake.”
“We can go back to the courtroom. Get the judge to marry us. Howard made that all happen in a couple of weeks.”
“Sure. But we’ve got time. I won’t show for a couple of months. I figure it happened on my birthday. Some present, huh?” She smiled tentatively and I thought that was a good sign.
I smiled tentatively back. I didn’t want to jump up and down with joy if she was wrecked by this. Then again, I didn’t want her to be wrecked by this at all.
“Ellie…” I swallowed. “It’s not such a bad thing, is it?”
She stood up and came over and patted me on the shoulder. “No, Jake. It’s not such a bad thing. Listen, I’m feeling tired. I was stressing this conversation hard. And I do have to work tomorrow. I’m going to head back to my room, and then tomorrow or whenever we can start making plans.”
I grasped her hand in mine. “I’m sorry you had to be alone with this for four days.”
