Page 68 of Jackson's Redemption
I watched Cal flip Eli the bird. Cal was clearly not over it. Forget that we should have probably respected his wishes and kept him out of the contest entirely. At the very least, we should have told him we picked out a profile for him.
The day Vivienne landed in town she had blindsided Cal. Blindsided him in more ways than one.
“What’s wrong with him?” Cal asked Eli, even as he was jerking his chin at me. Bud set his beer in front of him.
“Kate’s in Nome,” Eli said. “Been there for weeks apparently working as a local cop.”
“Are you shitting me?” Cal whistled. He looked at me. “Then what the fuck are you doing here?”
“My business.”
Cal snorted in disgust. “You know what. You’re right. I don’t care. I’ll just say this. I’ve known you for three years, Jackson. I saw you in a bar with Kate for ten minutes before she was taking you home. That, my friend, was the only time I ever saw you truly happy. But you do what you want. I got my own damn problems. Oh yeah, that’s right. I forgot. I’m not talking to any of you.”
He took his beer and went to sit at a table alone.
“He’s right about you being happy,” Eli said eventually.
“You weren’t even there,” I grumbled.
“Don’t need to be. When I see you like this, how bad you’re hurting, I know how high the high must have been. I got my head out of my ass and did something about it and I’ve had the high every day since.”
“You going to sit here and let me get drunk or what?”
Eli sighed. “I’ll let you get drunk. And you can count hangover number one. But trust me, it’s not going to change anything. Only one thing will.”
* * *
Jackson
The next morning
I woke up the next morning exactly as Angel had predicted. Hung over. I was in my room even though I had no idea how I got here. Still dressed in my jeans and thermal.
Eli had been kind enough to take off my boots and leave two Advil and a glass of water on the cabinet next to my bed. I sat up, took the pills, drank the entire glass of water and wondered what the hell I had done.
I hate you! In this moment, right here, right now, I hate you! Because you won’t even give me a chance.
She wanted time. She wanted a chance to sort her feelings out, figure out if she could trust them.
I wanted all or nothing.
Because I wanted her so much. Five days. We’d had five days together and they were the best fucking days of my life. Only I knew if she couldn’t find her way to me, it was going to hurt. Hurt in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
Which meant I was a coward.
I didn’t like myself much in that moment.
“So what the hell are you going to do about it?” I asked an empty room.
It was like Angel said. I could sit here and feel like shit or I could do something about it.
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, checked that I actually had service, which was sketchy up here, and called Doogie.
“Jackson,” he answered. “What’s up?”
“I need to fly back to Nome today.”
“You sure are a fickle fellow.”
