Page 53 of Mostly My Girlfriend
I’d pretended like the second time hadn’t mattered, only it had. It mattered so much it forced me to become engaged to a man I wasn’t in love with just to pretend Ethan hadn’t stolen my soul.
This time had to be different. This time I had to be honest with him.
So what was the truth?
My feelings for Ethan were so convoluted, and had been for so many years, I didn’t know where to start.
I heard the door to the apartment open and there were voices in the foyer. I came out of the study and waited for both of them.
Rachel continued to look like her world had been destroyed. But she’d done her hair and makeup for the meeting and I thought that was a good sign. Better than staying in bed all day.
“How did it go?” The first words I’d spoken to Ethan since last night. Was my face red? Did he look awkward?
“I’m a very wealthy woman. Yay, me,” Rachel said drily. “What time is it, dear?”
“Just after three.”
She nodded. “I’m going to lie down before dinner. Maybe we could order something in?”
“People have been dropping things off all day,” I said. “Cookies, Blue Apron boxes, casseroles, you name it. We’ll figure something out.”
She nodded, then patted my arm as she walked by me down the hallway to her room. Leaving Ethan and me alone.
“What about you? Can I get you something?” I offered. Then quickly clarified. “Food, tea…something like that?”
He shook his head, but he hadn’t quite managed to look at me yet. I didn’t take that as a positive sign that this conversation was going to go well.
“We have to talk,” I said. I was proud of how smooth the words sounded. As if at least I was collected.
He nodded solemnly.
He followed me into the study. I preferred that room as there were two doors now between us and his mom. I had this idea I could walk around the desk and sit across from him, using it as a buffer. But I stopped myself. A desk wasn’t going to offer me any protection. Not for this conversation. No matter how sturdy and heavy that desk might be.
Instead, I leaned against the front of it, and when I saw I was crossing my arms over my chest, I intentionally brought them to my sides and held onto the edge instead.
“Before you say anything,” he began. “I want to say thank you. You’ve been incredible to us both these past few days. I don’t know what either one of us would have done without you.”
I nodded. “You’re welcome.”
“I should also tell you…I’m leaving.”
“Leaving?”
“Yes, I’m not happy with some of the feedback I’m hearing related to our deal in Tokyo. What should have been a done deal now suddenly feels as if we’re on shaky ground. I need to be there to make sure their commitment to Phoenix doesn’t waver.”
“I haven’t been hearing any feedback.”
He looked me straight in my face. “You haven’t been cc’d on the emails. Just me.”
“Japan,” I repeated, feeling as though if I didn’t grip the ends of the desk hard enough, I would fall to my knees. But I supposed I’d spent enough time there recently. “For how long?”
He shoved his hands into the pockets of the suit pants he’d worn for the meeting and shrugged. “For however long it takes. I know I talked about a vacation…but I just don’t see how I can make that happen. Not with everything going on.”
I let his answer sit between us. I considered all the things I thought we should say to each other. Maybe what I wanted to say. But now, all of that seemed moot. His leaving for an unknown duration seemed to say it all. For both of us.
“What about your mother?”
“I’m trying to persuade her to come with me. Maybe not right away, but after a few weeks…the change in scenery might help.”
