Page 60 of Mostly My Girlfriend
12
Therapy
Ethan
“You’re both back,” Carol said with a smile when, together, we burst through the door of her office. “Stay here. I’ll get some towels from the ladies’ restroom so you can dry off. And don’t sit on my good leather chairs.”
She left us alone in her office. We were panting because Jules had made us run and, truth was, I had no idea what she thought was going to change in the next twenty minutes. But the reality of seeing Julia running after me, screaming for me, wasn’t something I could walk away from.
If she wanted to fight for us, I would fight with her.
I watched as she walked over to Carol’s desk and picked up my letters. She opened the one on top and started reading.
“You don’t have to read them,” I said. “I can sum up. I apologize a lot and tell you how I’ve always loved you, which until recently, has scared the crap out of me.”
She twirled around. “You’re not scared anymore?”
“No. The only thing that scares me is the thought that I pushed you too far. Hurt you too much. That I broke us, and I can’t fix us. That Carol can’t fix us.”
Jules looked at the letter and smiled at something I’d written.
“When I left this office, I thought about what came next. What new world I would conquer. I thought about doing it without you this time and, holy shit, did that suck.”
She shook her head.
“You have to say the words, Jules. I need to hear them. I love you. I’m in love with you. I’m so over the moon crazy about you that it fills me up. And it fucked me up, but not anymore.”
She set the letters on the desk and walked toward me. When she was close, she looked into my eyes. Then over them. “Your eyebrows need to be trimmed.”
“Probably,” I huffed.
“No, that’s what I would always say when I wanted to say something else instead. I love you, Ethan Moss. I always have. Even when I thought you were weird.”
I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her. And in that kiss, I felt whole again. But even more than that, I felt bigger and more invincible, just like I always did when I was with Jules. I’d been such an ass. I’d always been afraid of letting myself love her because I didn’t think I could control it when, the whole time, loving her made me stronger than I’d ever been before.
I pulled away nearly in shock from it. “I really get to have you?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Don’t fuck it up.”
I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, knew she could see them, but it didn’t bother me even a little bit.
Then I remembered something.
“Hey, do you have a dollar?”
She blinked. “Are you serious right now?”
“Yeah, you need to give me a dollar.”
“Hookay. Like I said. Weirdo.” She turned and grabbed the purse she’d left behind when she’d come running after me.
Running. After. Me. I was going to remind her of that for the rest of my life.
Opening her wallet, she searched through her bills and pulled out a five. “I only have this.”
I took it from her and shoved it in my back pocket. “That’s okay, I’ll give you change.”
“What are we doing here? An emergency trip to the vending machine?” she asked as if I’d suddenly gone insane.
