Page 56 of Mostly My Boss
Ethan
“What the hell happened?”
Jules. That was her voice. Good, she was here. That was important. She would fix this for me.
I’d done something stupid, and now I was pretty sure I was in a hospital.
“We got into a fight and he freaked out.” That was Nicki talking. What had Nicki said earlier? About Jules. Something important about Jules.
“He started drinking. I didn’t realize how much until he collapsed at the bar. I couldn’t get him to respond, so I called 911.”
She totally overreacted. It was a spell. Just a spell.
“Do you know if he’s on any medications?” That was from the nurse standing above me currently pointing a light into my eyes.
I should answer this. I was ona lotof medications. But I hadn’t been taking them. I didn’t need them. I could usually control my emotions as long as I kept everything locked down.
But I hadn’t been able to do that tonight. Tonight, Nicki had destroyed all that restraint.
What had she told me? It was there and it was important but, through the haze of alcohol, I couldn’t grasp it. It was out of reach. That happened sometimes. I drank too much and I blanked out. Lost time.
I needed to stop drinking, but sometimes it helped get me out of my head. I needed to be able to think freely. Pot helped, too, but I hated the smell of it. Vodka mixed with anything was much more enjoyable.
“He’s been on Adderall, but I don’t know if he’s taking it now. He goes off and on.”
ON!
I didn’t tell Jules I’d failed another exam. My father wasNOTgoing to be happy with my second-semester grades. Not that he was happy with my first-semester grades.
Not that he was ever happy with me. Ever.
But I didn’t need him. Not his approval, not his medication, not his insistence that, somehow, who I was at my core was flawed. Although, of course, I was. After all, my mother had been an addict while she was pregnant with me.
Except, instead of being intellectually impaired by that, it had worked the other way.
I was going to do great things. I was going to prove that my existence was worthy. I was going to show the woman who left the hospital after giving birth to me—without a word to anyone—that I was someone who shouldn’t be left behind.
“You’ll need to stay here.”
The nurse again. I was on a gurney. I could see the lights above and hear the squeaky wheels as I was moved through halls. The motion was making me nauseous.
“Going to be sick.” It was all the warning I gave before I rolled over and vomited. On the gurney, on the floor.
“Oh my God!”
Nicki. Relax. It’s just some puke. Nothing to freak out over.
Jules wouldn’t freak out. She could handle this. She could handle me. I’ve known from the beginning. Because of the seat she picked in class. She understands me.
“Jules,” I groaned.
“I’m calling your parents.”
“Don’t!” Did that come out forcibly enough? I fell back onto the bed, then it was moving again.
Stupid mistake.
I was going to pay for this stupid mistake.
