Page 63 of Mostly My Boss
“He’s fine. I’ve told him to write to you. To let you both know he’s okay. Maybe this Christmas,” I said lamely.
He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his wool coat. The gesture reminded me of Ethan.
“Are you going home for the break?” he asked me.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Rachel thought…well, this might seem crazy, but you’re the only link we have to him. If he isn’t going to talk to us, we thought…we thought maybe you could spend time with us. Share what’s happening in his life with us. And we could share what’s happening in our life so that you can tell him. Come for Christmas.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mr. Moss,” I said.
“Please. Rachel is despondent. She has been for over a year and I can’t do anything to fix it. If you’re there, she’ll feel connected to him and she needs that desperately. I’m a proud man, Julia. Too proud, which is why I screwed everything up with Ethan, but I’m not too proud now to beg. Come for Christmas. Spend it with us. Please.”
I gulped. Refusing him seemed cruel. “Okay. I’ll come. Spend the day. Will that work?”
His shoulders slumped in clear relief and he nodded. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
I was going to kill Ethan the next time I saw him. Whenever that might be. Dinner with the Mosses was going to be nothing but seriously awkward, but there was no way I could refuse them.
“We should have known,” he said, after a minute. “From the very beginning Ethan was different. His intellect…it was nearly frightening in its intensity. The mood swings could be so extreme. I thought…I always thought I was doing the right thing. Up until the moment I knew I’d done everything wrong.”
I didn’t have any response to that, mostly because I thought it was true. It was easy for Ethan to think his father was a villain but, in the end, he was just a super uptight guy trying to parent the only way he knew how.
“When you write to him…let him know, please, that we love him very much. I didn’t say it. Never once. Thought it was silly, really. Those kinds of sappy words, but now I see…that you have to tell people how you feel, or they might not know it.”
Yeah, I knew that. Because I hadn’t told my dad that I loved him enough times. And then he was dead and that was it. All my chances to tell him how I felt were gone.
“I will.”
He nodded. Satisfied. “We’ll see you Christmas?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ll be there.”
Another brisk nod. “Then I’ll leave you to it. We’ll send a car.”
“That isn’t necessary,” I told him. I could borrow Daniel’s.
“Please, humor an old man.”
“Sure,” I said. His smile was short, but it’d been there. I would tell Ethan that, too. That I’d made his father happy by accepting his offer.
With a wave he left me and I wondered exactly what I’d gotten myself into.
* * *
Year two apart
Jules,
This is it. I’ve got it. Automated blood tests that can be done at your local pharmacy.
Brilliant!
Ethan
* * *
Ethan,
