Page 20 of Mostly My Boss
Shit. That was not cool. Ethan Moss was someone, I immediately sensed, I should not give the power to hurt me.
I opened my eyes.
“Blue!”
“Wow, you really are a genius. Now go try these on.”
He took what I’d picked out for him, seeing the different styles and colors. “You were better at this than me,” he admitted.
Another way we could be equals. “Just remind yourself of that when you’re all like,I’m a genius.”
“Visionary,” he corrected me. “I prefer visionary.”
I pushed him toward the dressing room. “Go envision yourself in some style for a change. Dressing room is over there. They have a fancy mirror in the staging area and a couch. I’m going to read while you do your thing, but you have to come out and show me each outfit.”
“But what about you?”
My chest got a little tight. It was something my mother always used to say. At least, after Dad died. When I would force Robby and Devon to do their homework. When I would yell at John for not being around enough when we needed him. When I would make dinner, clean up, and get Mom to bed with the sleeping pill she needed to cope with her anxiety.
She would always ask, “But what about you, Julia?”
And I would answer the same way every time.
“I’m fine. I’m good. I really don’t want new clothes.”
His eyebrow lifted.
“Seriously. Wouldn’t want to mess with the poor vibe I’ve got going,” I told Ethan with a smile I hoped he believed. Because someone had to be fine.
In the end, he bought three of the shirts and both styles of jeans, which made his legs look even longer. Along with a belt, a pair of brown ankle boots, and a sweater I found because I’d gotten bored reading.
I almost vomited when the bill came to over six hundred dollars, but he just laughed and said he’d treat me to lunch. A burger, fries, and a milkshake because I decided, after all those salads, I deserved something for myself.
5
Therapy
Ethan
“I’d like to answer your first question,” I said boldly to the therapist. “What you asked us first. What we were too afraid to tell you. The truth is, I’ve loved Jules since the day I met her, I think.”
“Oh come on, Ethan. Don’t be dense. You know what she’s asking,” Julia snapped at me. Then she turned to the therapist. “We’ve been friends since college. We decided early on…well, he decided early on that’s all we would be to each other. So that’s it. That’s what we are to each other. Friends—and then I went to work for him after school.”
“Hmm, I don’t think so,” Carol said. “For one, I’m not sure you would be here talking to me if you were just friends and business associates. For another, it doesn’t sound like you’re just trying to quit your job, Julia. It sounds like you’re trying to quit your friendship, too.”
“Because we’re notjustfriends,” I said, trying not to feel the sting of pain at how quickly Jules had rejected my declaration of love. I’d never told a woman I’d loved her. Ever.
First time and I got snapped at like a child who’d overstepped his bounds. This was why I didn’t do complicated relationships. Except Jules had never been complicated. Not really. She’d been incredibly easy, right from the start, and had made everything so much simpler for me.
“But we’re stuck,” I said. “And we don’t know how to move forward. That’s why we’re here.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jules huffed. “Move forward? I hate to keep reminding you, but you left me for three months.”
“And I came back to a resignation letter. I still don’t know if you read my letters. I only know you didn’t write back. You didn’t even try to understand where I was coming from!” I said, attempting to keep the anger out of my tone. I tried to breathe through it, but I’d never been good with strong emotions and I’d been experiencing nothing but in the months since my father died.
I shouldn’t have left her.
I’d known the minute I left that it was a mistake. I had told myself we needed time apart. I’d told myself I was doing it for our own good. I’d convinced myself it would save our relationship. Instead, now we were almost…broken.
