Page 135 of If the Slipper Fits
“You’re actually missingmypoint, Caden. They’re not bad traits and they’re not your only traits. You’re also noble and trustworthy. How, otherwise, could I have left the country for months on end during my own imbecilic phase? I could because I knew I could trust you not to leave England and to see to the earl in my stead—which you did, by the by.”
Anna had said the very same thing—not that the fact added up to a hill of beans. “Care to elaborate on what about your actions were imbecilic?”
“I was running—from everything our father taught us to fear, same as you’ve been running. We just did it in our own ways. I’d probably still be running if not for Kitty. And I believe your Anna is the same sort of…” he broke off as if searching his mind for the right word.
“Anchor,” Caden suggested, his voice barely a whisper. “I thought, with her, I could be the man I’ve wanted to be. I never really tried for fear of failing. No gain ever made the risk worth taking, at least not since my formidable disasters.”
“Your…what?”
Caden felt his cheeks heating. He may as well get it all out. “I couldn’t help father, and I couldn’t help you, despite my best efforts. It seemed nothing I ever did made much of a difference. Then there was University, when my mate nearly died, and then the quarry business happened—”
“—By God, I’m a right bastard, you know that? Caden, you have grown up and you have always made a difference for the better in everything you do, even when things didn’t work as intended. I should have told you. I was so worried that if I wasn’t tough enough on you…” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“This isn’t on you.”
Zeke shook his head. “It is. I knew something in you had changed when you swallowed your pride for her in coming back here. Even if it wasn’t for her, alone, doing so took an inner strength I doubt our father ever possessed, or if he did, he neglected it so long it shriveled and died.
“You’ve always had a noble streak, Cade. When you tried to save our father, when you stood up for the lonely little girl down the lane who needed a friend, when you tried to take on responsibilities rightfully mine, and your friend’s, and God knows whose which should never have been your burdens to begin with. When you went in Sterling’s stead to the Fenton’s house party—”
Caden held up a hand, palm out. “Stop. That last bit, especially, is a stretch, and we both know it. I’ve been running wild, and I went to the party with the intent to debauch myself with women, wine, and what-have-you, only Anna’s presence curtailed my baser instincts.”
Zeke’s mouth twitched. “Fair enough. My point with all this is, what you have to offer her is a good man who loves her, who would sacrifice anything for her safety and happiness.” He broke off and alook of dawning understanding lit his face. “Which is, apparently, why you let her leave. You made up your mind she didn’t want you, in the end. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“She agreed to marry me under one set of circumstances. Then her long lost grandmother arrives like a bloody fairy-godmother and she chose greener pastures.”
Zeke fixed him with a frank stare. “Did you give her all the facts?”
“Such as?”
“Did you tell her you love her?”
Caden’s jaw hardened. “Ah. You mean, did I beg?”
He laughed. Helaughed.
“I’m glad you find this funny.”
Abruptly, Kitty flew into the house, her skirts billowing behind her. “Caden, only recall how close Zeke came to losing me.”
His brother eyed the ceiling, as if seeking divine help. “Eavesdropping again, darling?”
She pressed her lips together. “Yes, well, listening-in, and we can discuss that later. The point is, Zeke, you resisted admitting you loved me, and that was the one thing I needed to hear. Tell him, before he makes the biggest mistake of his life.”
Zeke gave Caden a considering look. “She’s right. I risked my pride, and Kitty’s rejection, by telling her how I felt. In the end, it was the only viable choice. The thought of living my life without her held…” He shook his head. “…no appeal.”
Kitty launched herself at Zeke, who caught her up in his arms.
A momentary stab of pure jealousy pierced Caden’s guts. He wanted what they had—with Anna, the one woman who’d ever inspired such insipid longing in him.
“If losing her is an acceptable option—”
“Enough,” Caden cut in, his voice hoarse with the effort of holding back his emotions. “Enough,” he said again, resigned.
“But Caden,” Kitty began, only to be silenced by a touch from Zeke.
“She deserves better than me, Lord knows she does,” Caden began, “and, despite your claims to the contrary, she made her choice.”
Kitty opened her mouth to protest further, but Caden held up his hand.
