Page 87 of Overtime
“When I bought the studio. I was telling the realtor about you, in hopes she could help me find something you’d like. And we found the studio, but she also showed me this cottage. It’s not a cottage really. It’s actually a decent-size house, but it looks like something out of a fairy tale. It’s painted all pastel right now. So it needs work. I’m sure you’ll want it all painted black. But otherwise—the space, the details, the gardens… all of it looks like you belong there.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when you told me about the studio?”
“I was scared enough to tell you about the studio. Afraid of how you’d react. And when you didn’t freak out on me, I didn’t want to push my luck.”
She winces.
“What?”
“I did freak out. I found the deed in Violet’s office.”
“But you acted like you didn’t know.”
“I lied. Violet told me to pull my shit together and be thankful that I have such an amazing person in my life.”
“So you hated it…” My heart sinks in my chest.
“No. I didn’t hate it. I bawled my eyes out when I found it. That you wanted Ben and Violet to give it to me instead. I loved it, and it broke my heart at the same time. That you felt like you had to lie to me to do something nice. I get it though. I can be a very difficult person to love, and I never gave you very much reason to trust me or my reactions. But when I saw it… I couldn’t hide from it anymore—that I love you, I mean.”
“Why not tell me sooner?”
“Your mom. My own stupid brain telling me things that aren’t true. This house. What I thought I should do.”
“Were you just going to leave again?”
“Were you just going to let me walk away again?”
She had a point. I’d been so set on letting her live her life the way she wanted, I never thought about trying to show her she might want a different one.
“I think we belong together. I think we’re meant to be together, even in this universe. I just think we ended up in a version that’s a little harder than the rest. But I’m willing to do it anyway if you are.”
“I think you’re right. It’s going to be an uphill battle. With your career and mine. With how independent we both are… You sure you’re up for that?”
“As long as at the end of the day I get you—always.”
“Then yes.”
“Yes?” My heart thuds hard against my lungs, the pounding echoing in my ears.
“Yes. But not Elvis in Vegas this weekend. I mean, I like it…” She grins. “But Violet will die when she finds out and will want to put me through all the torture of wedding planning like I did her. And I want to do cake tasting with you. Plan a honeymoon. See you take pictures with your groomsmen. And… I want you to have time to figure things out with your parents. How you want to handle it. Plus I don’t want a quick Vegas wedding. Nothing is impulsive about this. I’m not running. You don’t have to nail me down. I want this. I want you.”
I stare at her for a long minute, trying to process this version of Joss. I’d spent so much time focused on showing her I’d changed and grown up; I hadn’t noticed how much she had.
“What’s wrong?” She frowns.
“I just… I’m not dreaming, right? Or dead?”
“Not unless we both are.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her forehead. The woman is an enigma—somehow a hurricane and the calm waters I need all wrapped up in one perfect person that I’m finally going to get to call my own.
FORTY-SEVEN
Joss
