Page 41 of Wild Card
I flash him a look. One that we only use when we don’t want to talk details but need each other to understand. The man is like a brother to me, and I don’t know why he won’t just fucking listen.
“You fucked her.” He scrubs a hand over his face, shaking his head and staring at the ground. “I told you—”
“Do you honestly think I need an ‘I told you so’ lecture right now?”
He folds his arms over his chest and stares at me.
“No. What I think you need is to accept the consequences of your fucking actions. I told you if that’s how you chose to go that you’d still need to be able to live with being around her after. Remember when I didn’t want to play fake relationship with Harper? When I said that was a terrible fucking idea?”
“This is not you and Harper. I was saving your ass from getting benched or worse.”
“You fall when you’re alone here, you don’t have help when you need it—it could be worse for you too. Not just the season but your whole career.”
“I don’t need to hear that shit right now.”
“But you do. That’s half the problem. You’re worried about the things that don’t matter, and not worried enough about the ones that do. And to be fucking real with you friend, I don’t think your mental health is in a place where you can spend weeks alone holed up in this place without spiraling out.”
“Scarlett isn’t going to help my fucking mental health. She hates me.”
“She agreed to do it.”
Fucking wonderful. Xander has already filled her in on what a fucking mess I’m in right now and her bleeding heart couldn’t help but agree.
“Then the pity she feels must be fucking overwhelming.”
“I don’t really care what’s motivating her. She’s your option. You don’t want strangers in your house right now? You want someone you can trust not to run to the sports gossip blogs and tell your secrets? She’s the one you pick. She’s a good girl, and she’ll keep your fucking business secret. Fuck, the fact that you fucked her, and she hasn’t said a word to Harper or anyone else. Just fucking endured whatever shitty treatment you gave her in silence and still shows up to the hospital and—”
“She was at the hospital?”
“Yes. She stayed with you that first night when the rest of us needed sleep and Easton needed to find a place to stay before he came back. You didn’t know?”
“No.”
The news takes my words away for a minute. I didn’t think she’d been there at all. I hadn’t seen her once during my entire stay even though she’d texted a couple of times to check on me. So it’s a shock to find out she was there that first night when things were the worst.
“You were asleep when we left, and maybe East got there before you woke up.” Xander shrugs.
“She can’t possibly want to be here taking care of me.”
“She didn’t hesitate. She agreed even before I offered to pay her so she could stop looking for work while she helps out around here. She didn’t want to take it either, said that she considers you a friend. And maybe it is pity motivating her. I don’t fucking know, but frankly, you need pity or whatever she’s fucking got for you right now. Maybe what you really need is a fucking wife—but in the absence of that, a scorned ex fuck-buddy who will agree to put up with your shit is better than nothing.”
“A wife. Jesus. I knew you were gone on Harper but hearing you say anything about marriage…” I laugh but Xander doesn’t look amused.
“I’m glad you think it’s funny. But you know who will be there for me when I decide to go launching myself off a fucking motorcycle—or better fucking yet, who would talk me out of getting on the motorcycle in the first place?”
I grit my teeth and shake my head. I’ve already seen how marriages work out with my parents—with everyone miserable and pretending they aren’t.
“You and Colt both want to join Ben, go for it. I’m not made for it.”
“It’s your life. If this is how you want to spend it, that’s up to you. But I’ve listened to you when I really needed to. You need to listen to me now—our time fucking around and not dealing with the consequences at the end of the day is over. Yeah? Cosmically, karmically, however you want to think about it. Time’s up. You’ve got a fucking sex tape, a fucked hip, a whole lot of people pissed at you, and very few people available to be here for you when you need it. So make damn sure this is how you want to keep living. Because I fucking love you like a brother, and it killed me to pick up the phone the other night. I want better for you. You deserve better.”
I feel something like tears clawing at my throat and I refuse, fucking absolutely refuse, to cry like a bitch in front of Xander or anyone else right now. So I just nod my head and look away.
“Scarlett will be here in the morning. I’m giving her my extra key until she can make a copy. Either talk nice to her or don’t talk to her at all, but you need her, so don’t fucking piss her off and make her quit. If she does, you’ll have to get a proper nurse or aide to come and stay here until you’re back on your feet.”
“Fine,” I grit out the word.
“Hate me now. But someday you’ll realize it was the right move.”
