Page 80 of Wild Card
“I don’t think so. She wants the good guy. The one who drops everything for her and worships the ground she walks on. I’ve never been that guy.”
“Well first, I don’t think that’s what she wants. Women don’t want magic, brother. They just want someone who can hold on tight through all the ups and downs. Have their back. See them through it all. I think she wants someone as driven and smart as she is. Someone who can hold their own against her. I think you need the same thing. Probably why the two of you are always fighting, but also why you’ve fallen in love with her.”
“Again with the dramatic words. I like her. A lot. Love is a pretty strong sentiment though. Fallen makes it sound like I can’t get back up.”
“Can you? If she disappears tomorrow, how would you feel? You keep letting her date other people, and she finds someone else. Runs off with them and tells you that you took too long… What then?”
My chest aches at the thought of her being gone. Her dating someone else I can stomach. I don’t even hate it—the thought of proving to her that she wants me more than anyone else. I like the competition because I like the challenge. I like what it says if she says yes. If she picks me. But if she wants someone else, if there’s someone better for her out there. I’d want that for her too.
“I’d hate it. But I’d understand it.”
“Why are you tempting fate like this if you’d hate it?”
“I want her to pick me. Have her chance to be with whoever. See what that’s like and decide she wants this. Not just fall in with me because I’m here and she’s been stuck with sick me for weeks.”
“My God you are dense. She picked you already. She picked you when she agreed to come and be here with you at your worst moment. To help you get back on your feet, when she had literally no good reason to do it. You just had a sex tape released that didn’t star her. You were in serious danger of losing your career and all the money and fame with it. You were from all accounts a complete and utter asshole to everyone around you. And she signed up for that wholeheartedly.”
“I hate when you make good points.”
“I hate when you can’t see things that are right in front of you. You’re still struggling. I know you are. Wondering if you’re worthy. If you deserve something good. And we know why that is, and it has nothing to do with you or her.”
“This what you do to your clients? Psychoanalyze them?”
“If I think they need it. Usually I try to just send them to therapy while I try to fix the rest. You are in therapy, right?”
“Yeah. East and Colt helped me find someone.”
“Good. So talk to them about it. You’re going to come to the same conclusion though, and then you’re going to have to work through your daddy issues.”
“I don’t have daddy issues.”
“Oh, you do. You and East both. Don’t worry, I have my own set thanks to him. But he didn’t try to mold me in his image the way he did the two of you.”
“I’m just tired of being lectured about my mistakes by a man who cheated on his wife and treats his sons like they’re disposable extensions of himself. I’m not sure that’s daddy issues so much as just wanting a little bit of fucking sanity in my life.”
“And not to turn into him.”
“What?”
“That’s what you’re worried about. At least in part. It could be a lot more than that too, but don’t pretend like that isn’t a worry for you. Trying to define yourself separately from his legacy. Make sure people know that you might have the name but not the same die-hard black heart that he does.”
“Of course I don’t want to fucking turn into him.”
“Which is a good thing, until it makes you not take chances where your heart is concerned.”
I frown at my sister, shaking my head.
“You’re fucking annoying sometimes you know?”
“When I’m right? I’m okay with that.” She grins, and I toss a pillow at her face that she returns in kind.
“When are you settling down anyway? Going to give Mom her grandchildren?”
“Don’t fucking start.” She turns a withering glare on me.
FORTY-THREE
Scarlett
