Page 35 of Play Fake
“Hey, so I’m here with Dex, and, uh, we have some news.”
“News? What news?” she asks. “And hi, Dex.”
“Hey,” he says.
And then I word vomit.
It’s not the sexiest turn of phrase, but I’m a rambling idiot who spills it all in the span of about eight seconds. “So Dex’s publicist has been telling him he needs to make himself look a little more wholesome, and meanwhile I literally ran into him the other day, and I’m about as wholesome as they come, and I’m breaking NDA to tell you I didn’t get married on the show but was made to look like a total and complete fool, so in orderto help him out and so he can help me out, too, we’re going to get married but it’s just for show and not a real marriage and we wanted to tell you before it’s public.”
Silence greets me on the other end.
“Ivy?” I ask after I give it a few seconds.
“Um,” she says. “I need to sit down. So wait a second, you and Dex aregetting married?” she asks, and she’s speaking slowly like she’s talking to some bunnies in the yard that might get spooked if she talks too quickly or loudly.
“Yep,” I say, popping thep.
“When?”
“Today. We’re heading to City Hall soon.”
“City Hall?” she repeats, and I hear all the disdain in her voice.
“Yes. City Hall. I got the romantic proposal and the magical wedding on the show, and it didn’t work out, so—”
“And it’s just for show, anyway,” Dex adds. “But we wanted to tell you since the certificate is public record and will likely hit the media in the next few days once the clerk files it and it’s live on their website.”
“What about having me be your maid of honor?” Ivy asks.
“Babe, you weren’t going to be my maid of honor when I was onSpeed to the Altar,” I point out. “I came to Vegas to get married, and maybe we were expecting it to be to someone else, but this is where I landed. You can be my maid of honor at my real wedding someday.”
Dex grunts a little at that, and I can’t help but wonder for a second if the thought makes him…jealous?
“What about payment from the show?” Ivy asks me. “Won’t they pull it if you show up to the reunion married?”
“They already pulled it because I ran instead of staying to give my initial reaction to what happened at the altar.”
“What happened?” she presses.
“You’ll have to watch.”
She lets out a frustrated breath, and Dex laughs.
“Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?” she asks her brother.
“Once it’s done and before they can try to talk me out of it,” he says.
“Then allow me,” she says.
“I thought you only had four minutes,” he counters.
“It can wait,” she says. “This can’t.”
“Yeah, it can, Ivy. Save your breath. Anything you have to say to us isn’t going to change it,” Dex says.
She sighs. “How long are you staying married?”
“My lawyer drew up a contract for two years, six months,” Dex says. He glances at me. “It was his idea to revisit the contract once Tawny is out of jail, but it gives me the firmer ground to prove I’m providing a stable home life just in case she decides to try anything.”
