Page 113 of All Right No
“I reckon Luthor would disagree with you, but that’s okay. It’s as it should be.” His friend squeezed him tight, and patted him across the back. “I’ll even forgive you for making Spook the best man.”
“I haven’t decided anything yet.”
Xane knuckle punched him on the shoulder. “Yeah, you have. Your heart knows exactly what it wants. It’s just waiting for your head to get with the plan.”
***
Ash prevaricated over whether to call Ginny for the rest of the day. He did reinstate her number as one of his speed dial options on his mobile. Then, in a fit of pure insanity, when he crawled into his bunk that night, he hit call, only to hang up the moment it connected.
Bad idea. Really bad idea.
They couldn’t just sweep everything under the carpet. He rolled onto his back and gazed up at the ceiling of his little cell. There were all sorts of slots and cubby holes built into the area. He used his fingers to slide a photograph from out of one such crevice. The image had been taken in an unguarded moment back in September. She was sitting on the meadow-like roof of Spook’s sauna, with her knees bent before her and a daisy chain in her hand. Her feet were bare, and her hair was loose around her face. It was a favourite shot, different on so very many levels to all the other photographs he had of her. Normally, she was dressed to kill, or at least to torment him until he fell at her feet. This one portrayed a softer, mellower side.
Ash’s phone vibrated in his hand, launching his heart up his throat. She’d sent a message, rather than returning his call, but his nerves still quivered as he read the response.
G: Ash?
He knew the exact pitch and tone of her voice the question was delivered in.
Ash stared at that single word for several long minutes before finally tapping out a response. Xane was right. He was still in love with Ginny. He didn’t want things to end like this, but nor were the issues between them easily swept aside or forgotten. Understanding why she’d done what she’d done was the first logical step.
A: Yes.
Well, the first step after opening the line of communication.
A: We should talk.
G: I’d very much like that to happen.
Agreed. Although, right this minute probably wasn’t the best time, particularly considering his current location. He could hear the rest of the guys scrambling about, doors opening and closing, the sound of the loo being flushed and Paul flossing his teeth. Whatever conversation he had with Ginny deserved to be conducted in private, and ideally in person. That wasn’t quite so easily accomplished, though, given they were in different countries right now, and he wasn’t in a position where he could take time out to fly back to the UK. In any case, he wasn’t sure he was ready to see her face to face yet. Being that close to her would bring everything—all his jumbled emotions, thwarted plans, and frustration—to the surface all at once. His mind knew more clarity communicating at a distance, when he could pause between thoughts and access his true feelings before his emotions ran away with him.
A: I’m on the tour bus. It’s not a good time right now.
G: Let me know when is. You’re in Minsk at the moment, right?
Yes. They were here until the end of the week, but he wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing that Ginny was aware of that. He didn’t want to intimate that she should make her way here. Of course, that begged the question, what was he so afraid of? Why was the prospect of seeing her so very terrible? Was it further heartache he was scared of, or the possibility that all his hurt would be washed away? Would all this angst of the past few weeks turn out as Xane said, to be nothing more than emo bullshit, largely self-inflicted because his image of the world hadn’t been so accurately rendered as he’d supposed with regard to one component. It was only a couple of details that had changed. The bigger picture remained the same. She’d been there for him, looked after him, loved him when he wasn’t even sure he’d loved himself.
G: I miss you.
Ash traced the curve of her cheek in the photograph. He missed her too. Even moved his lips to admit as much, but the thought wasn’t repeated by his thumbs. Instead, he asked,
A: Have you seen him?
G: Who?
G: I guess you mean Miles?
G: Yes, out of necessity. It was the only way to move things forward. The court granted the decree nisi.
A: I don’t know what that means.
G: That in another five weeks I’ll be free of him. Everything that legally needs to be agreed upon has been agreed, so there’s no reason why the decree absolute can’t be granted the day after the waiting period is up.
Thus, by extension, in a few weeks she could be utterly his.
If that was what he wanted.
Right now, he wasn’t exactly sure what it was he wanted.
