Page 114 of All Right No
Maybe some kind of action rewind on his life over the last twelve months. Not that he could swear to doing things over any differently.
Nor was there one definitive action that he could trace everything back to and alter, and even if there were, what was to say altering it would lead to a change overall or that he would like the alternate outcome any better? Maybe in that parallel existence Black Halo had ceased to exist, or he’d died as a result of the rohypnol poisoning.
Sour thoughts, but necessary ones for putting things back in perspective.
G: I’m sorry I wasn’t straight up with you from the start. I ought to have told you everything.
A: It’s late now, probably not a good time to go over things.
G: Yes, of course.
A: I’ll maybe call tomorrow.
G: Tomorrow.
He could picture her nodding.
They were playing the same venue tomorrow that they’d played today, so finding time for the call ought not to prove difficult, and he could slip into the space beneath the seating again to ensure some privacy. He was reaching for the light switch, when the mobile vibrated again.
G: I’m so sorry. I really miss you.
“I miss you too,” he said to the screen. He missed her more than he could easily put into words. There was an aching void in his chest, but his head said that forgiving her would only open himself up to even greater hurt.
“Are you talking to yourself, Mr. Gore?” Rock Giant stuck his head around Ash’s curtains. “That’s not a good sign, you know.”
“To the phone.” Ash held the device up as evidence.
“To it, not a person.” Rock Giant tutted and shook his head. “That’s not any better. Maybe you ought to start talking to living things, you might get an actual response.”
Maybe.
“Do you think I’m an idiot for still wanting her?”
He didn’t need to qualify who he meant. Paul knew exactly who he meant.
“Duh, Ash. I always think you’re an idiot, but if it helps, I think you’re a bigger one for moping over a woman who’d be on the next plane here and sucking the jizz out of your cock if you merely said the word.”
Okay, actually, he wished he’d never asked.
Ash bounced the nearest item to hand off his friend’s head, which happened to be a box of condoms. “There was no need to be so fucking crude, and you could at least try to answer the question instead of merely being a jerk about it. That’s if it hasn’t escaped your mind what she did.”
Paul slapped the box down on Ash’s bunk having retrieved it from the floor. His elbows jabbed into the mattress either side of it. “Completely screwed up my plans of Christmas, that’s what.”
Ash glowered.
“Not that?” Paul rapped his fingers against his temple. “Hang on, let me think. Oh yeah, she agreed to fucking marry you. Crazy bitch.”
“She lied and left me,” Ash snapped, growing irate at Paul’s belligerent inanity.
His friend’s face scrunched into a ton of wrinkles, and he scratched at the man bun he’d pulled the longer strands of his hair into. “Actually, I’m fairly sure that only one of those things happened. She didn’t leave you, Ash. You left her. Abandoned her in a taxi of all places. I mean I totally get why you’d want to choose my company over hers during Christmas, but you could have at least seen her to some accommodation. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”
“Oh, just piss off.” Ash lashed out with his elbow. He really wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with Rock Giant’s sense of humour right now. He failed to connect a strike, or to chase his band mate away, though he did adopt a more serious expression.
Ash raised himself up on his elbows. “What?”
“What yourself. What is it you want me to say, Ash? Am I supposed to tell you she’s a scumbag and you’re better off without her? Will that make you feel better? If it is, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. I’m not going to lie to you. What she did was crap, but that one thing doesn’t tip the balance next to the millions of good things you got out of your relationship with her. She was good for you.”
“So, you all think I’m an idiot for letting her go in the first place.”
