Page 31 of All Right No
“I should leave the song writing to the experts?” he cut in.
That was not what she was about to say. “Just because they have a certain way of working that produces the goods doesn’t mean you can’t write songs for the album too.”
Ash cawed like she’d told a particularly funny joke. “Like they’d be interested in anything I wrote.”
Jeezus, he was determined to see the gloomy side of everything. “I’m sure they would, actually.” And they were getting side-tracked from the important stuff here.
“No one is interested in me.”
No, no one at all. Besides her and a few thousand fangirls, some of whom wrote to him every single day, and sent him Danger Mouse socks and crocheted willy warmers and other unmentionables. However, Ash was too blinded by his own negativity to see that affection.
“I’m a dead weight. A waste of space.”
“Stop it,” she snapped. “You are not.”
“I should probably go and live amongst the rhubarb and eat worms.”
Okay, enough. Drastic measures were in order. Ginny gave him a shove that tipped him into the water. Yes, it was mean of her, but sometimes you had to be cruel in order to be kind, and he desperately needed shaking out of his self-pitying stupor. He wasn’t the only person with issues. Everybody had them. His problem was his refusal to deal with them.
Ash surfaced, spluttering water, and glared at her. “What the hell did you do that for?”
“I thought I’d give you a genuine reason to moan. Honestly, Ash, I know life sucks, but you need to move past all this woe is me stuff. Compared to millions out there, you’ve got it made. Okay, so you’ve work to do to fix yourself, but at least there’s the possibility that will happen. You’re not looking at a lifetime of endless therapies that are as likely to kill you as cure you. You have family, you have friends, and you have me. No cancer, no crippling debts, no non-verbal kid with special needs for whom you’re a punching bag. No one is determined to drag you through the courts as some kind of fuck you for wanting to love and be loved. Not to mention you’re still a member of an internationally best-selling band.”
“For now,” he grumbled, wading towards her.
She splashed him again. For heaven’s sake, why wasn’t he listening? “There you go again, bemoaning things that won’t even happen if you just listen to what they’re saying to you.” She slipped into the water beside him, and rested her hands on the tops of his arms. The water beaded on his skin, made him extra pretty, and the way his wet T-shirt clung to him, highlighted how sculpted he’d become thanks to a diet supplied by Spook and the limit on his alcohol consumption. “You’re pushing them away.”
“They’re flying to Australia without me.”
“What?”
Ash climbed out of the water, and shook himself like a wet dog. “You reckon they’re not trying to push me out, but the flights are booked to take them to the other side of the world for a promo push and I’m staying put.”
Okay, that did put a different spin on things.
“I don’t understand. When was this agreed? How come no one has said anything? Have they given any justification for leaving you behind?”
Ash offered her a hand out of the water. “There is none,” he said through clenched teeth. “I’m fit to fly. I’m just not wanted. Seriously, they’re one step from sacking me.”
Ginny hooked her hands behind his neck and drew him close. “I’m sorry, Ash.” No wonder he was being so snippy. Although, “I’m sure it doesn’t mean what you fear. Maybe they thought you’d benefit from the additional rest. You’ve not really had many days off, what with all the stress of Elspeth’s departure from the band and all the hours you’ve put into the new album.”
“Gin, don’t pretend this is some sort of holiday concession. It’s not.”
Fearfully, she had to agree with him.
“I know you’re trying to make things better.” He pressed his lips briefly to her cheek. “But, it’s all going to shit, Gin. You’re right, I know I’ve got it a lot better than many people, but right now I wake up every morning and wonder what new piece of crap I’m going to have to face.” He buried his head in the crook of her neck. “At least I can rely on you.”
His faith in her made her feel like an absolute snake, but as she’d been telling herself for weeks now, today wasn’t a good day to open up. Shaking the foundations of their relationship might send him into a full-blown depression.
No, she’d just have to work through the legal process on her own and hope that the right time would come around eventually.
“Shall we go in,” she said. “It’s looking as though it might rain.”
“And do what? Hide in our room.”
“We could take a bath together. I could shave all this fuzz off your face.”
Ash scratched at what he pretended was designer stubble but was definitely a beard. “I’m not in the mood.”
