Page 71 of All Right No
Maybe that was true, but what was so wrong with that? The world looked good through rose-tinted spectacles. Fuck cynical realism. He was dancing with fireflies. “There’s so much sobriety in the world, I’m sure my romanticism won’t skew things too much in one direction.” He intended to hold on to this precious sense that anything was possible for as long as he could. October would arrive swiftly enough, and then they’d all have to slip back into the real world—The world beyond Spook’s island hideaway—and contend with its woes, its wars, and its weddings.
Okay, so that last bit, hadn’t been where that thought was headed at the beginning of it, but it worked well enough that he didn’t repeal it. Why shouldn’t he think of weddings? He certainly liked the idea of slipping a ring onto Ginny’s finger, and having her claim him by slotting a matching one onto his.
He’d got hurt the last time he’d given his heart to a woman, but Ginny wasn’t like Connie. Ginny had stood by him. They talked. She didn’t keep things from him. She was open, and honest, not riddled with deceits. God, that old dream of a ramshackle home and a score of tiny voices yelling daddy ballooned in his mind into a genuine possible future again.
His adoptive parents were good people. They loved him. They were proud of him, but he was forever conscious that they weren’t blood. All the people with whom he shared a genetic connection had abandoned him. The father he didn’t remember, the mother for whom he’d only been a burden, and the brother who’d walked away as fast as he could the minute there was no legal reason for him to stay.“You have what you wanted, Bash. There’s no reason for me to hang around anymore. They’ll keep you safe.”
“But where are you going? You’ll be back, right?”
“I don’t expect so.”
“Auto… Daz?”
He and Ginny, they’d be a stable unit, and their home a haven that their offspring could always return to.
“Ash, you okay? You have the queerest look on your face.”
“Huh?” He shook himself back to the reality of the studio and the beacon of hope in his universe staring at him so studiously. “I was just wondering—when do you think the best time is to start a family?”
“Shit!” Her chin hit her chest. “You’re not seriously thinking we should… Oh my God, Ash!” She backed away from him a pace or two.
“I’m not proposing we make one this instant. I was asking what you thought a good age was to consider it.”
“Like ninety or something. I don’t know. When you have a stable existence and an excess of time and you’ve given up on yourself so you have to foist your dreams onto a younger, smarter version of yourself.” She shook her head at him. “What is up with you? Weren’t you just celebrating the fact you’re back with the band again, and there’s a real possibility you’ll be well enough to record and then tour come December? There’s no room for a kid on the tour bus.”
People toured with their kids, there were ways of doing it. Paul’s parents had, and he’d had a wicked cool childhood. A bit weird admittedly, and his folks were kookie as all hell, but there was nothing wrong with having stars in your eyes.
“Ash.” Ginny waggled her finger frantically between them. “We’re not making a baby.”
“Not now, or not ever?” he caught hold of her again, and dipped his head to make another assault upon her neck. She felt so perfect in his arms. “Come on, admit you’d be super gooey eyed over a baby Ash.”
“For your information, they come in two varieties. Also, while you’re adorable, I’m not obliged to clean up your shit.”
“We’ll have one of each to begin with,” he proposed. The pongy part couldn’t be that bad or people wouldn’t do it more than once, and some did it five or six times. He didn’t think about his birth mother and how difficult children had been for her, because he wasn’t like her. He’d proven that to himself. He didn’t need a handful of pills in order to function.
Ginny kept on shaking her head. “I don’t want to have this conversation. Can we stop talking about kids, and I don’t know, debate who the greatest super hero of all times is, or something?”
“That isn’t something you can debate. There’s a clear winner. Heck, it’s in his theme tune.He’s the greatest. He’s fantastic. See, nothing to discuss.”
“Yeah, but I’d rather fuck Deadpool, maybe even Ironman.”
“No way. They’re like maniacs.”
Somehow, he succeeded in making her laugh, though he wasn’t sure why.
“You want to make babies with Ironman?”
She slapped his forehead. “Did you miss the bit where I said I didn’t want to talk about this?”
“But in the future, we totally are going to?”
She pressed her lips firmly together.
“For God’s sakes, Ginny, lighten up, can’t you tell I’m teasing you? You can un-hunch your shoulders, I’m not about to start jabbing holes in condoms or hiding your pills. I just want a family someday. You want that too, right?”
She let out a long breath and relaxed her body. “Yeah, I guess, someday, but not now. We haven’t known one another six months yet. If we’re still a thing in six years, then you can talk to me about babies.”
“Gah!” What did it matter how long they’d been together? It’d been obvious the night they met that they were meant for one another, and that wasn’t only his interpretation. They’d both felt it. That was why, despite all the crap they’d faced in the intervening months, they were still together. They’d be together until they were old and grey. He had no doubt about that. Still, it didn’t suit his mood to see her frowning. “Fine. I agree.” He shook her hand. “But I think we should work on the techniques involved, so that when the time is right, we’ll be total experts.”
