Page 77 of All Right No
“No, it’s fine. It’s no big deal.”
His eyes conveyed the thoughts he backed up with words. “That is such obvious claptrap. People don’t sit outside freezing for no reason.”
“I’m not freezing.”
“Your nose is red. There are streaks of mascara on your face, and I can see you shivering.”
“I’m hormonal.”
“You’re an awful liar.”
“It’s not business I want to share with anyone. It’s not something any of you need to be involved in.”
“And yet somehow I sense we are, and that tells me your worry is something that affects Ash.”
Her cold muscles squealed in protest as she rose from the chair, unwilling to play guessing games with him
“And whatever it is, you know it’s going to bite you in the arse if he finds out some other way.”
It would bite her regardless of the means of discovery. There was no way forward without an eruption of fireworks, and even if she was prepared to brave the barrage of rockets, she wasn’t going to do anything that would risk pitching Ash right back into the darkness he’d fallen into for much of the summer.
He’d found himself again. He’d shrugged off the crippling self-doubts and mastered his anxiety, and in doing so created something beautiful the world could damn well thank him for. She’d heard enough of the rehearsals forLockdown, and seen his perfectionism in action enough to know the recording he’d done today would be nothing short of perfect.
“I get it,” Spook continued. The ends of his long hair brushed against his arms as he raised one towards her. “Sometimes things aren’t easy to explain when you know the person you’re confiding in will get hurt.”
Personal experience of exactly that situation ran through his voice.
“So, what do you advise?”
“Advise.” He shook his head. “There’s never a one fit solution to anything, but no matter how long you put something off, eventually you have to spit it out.”
“Even if the result is likely total annihilation?”
His pale eyes shone in the dark, and his face softened as he offered her a wan smile. “A strong relationship can weather extreme shit.”
“True love conquers all? Do you genuinely believe that?”
He smiled at himself. “Only in the odd optimistic moment. Crap things happen. Sometimes you just want to forget about them and move on, and for a while maybe that’s even possible. Only, you don’t really move on because the thing is still locked inside, niggling away, until eventually things happen that enable it to resurface.”
It was difficult to decide if they were speaking about her, or whatever horrors he had buried in his past. Maybe the remarks applied to both.
“But if there’s no guarantee that bringing up the topic sooner won’t result in the same sort of devastation, wouldn’t you just keep silent and hope that the day of reckoning was far into the future?”
“I feel like answering that question would lead me into decidedly treacherous waters. If there’s something you’re hiding from Ash, then I feel I know too much already. This is awkward, Ginny. He’s my friend. I don’t want to become part of a conspiracy, or end up privy to something I know will hurt him.”
“I don’t ever want to hurt him.” She took a sharp breath, and realigned her thoughts. “He’s insisting we go and stay with his folks for Christmas.”
“Is that what you’re worried about?”
“Should I be worried about it?”
“Only if you’re concerned about your relationship becoming more than it is now.”
Ginny tensed. “I’m not sure I know what that means.”
“What I’m saying is that I’m not aware of Ash having taken anyone home to meet his parents in all the time I’ve known him—not an intimate friend.”
“So, parents equal super serious, then?”
