Page 125 of Replay
His friend gave him a gentle shove.“What?I’m fully aware of what gets you hot, Spook.I’m pretty sure Alle is too.Do I need to show you the marks to remind you?”He reached for his shirt buttons.
Spook stopped him.“Xane, what if I lose control?What if I take it too far?”
“You won’t.”
“You don’t know that.You saw how I was the other night.”
“Yes, I did.And you didn’t push me beyond any sort of limit, so wipe that notion right out of your head.No boundaries were crossed.No violations perpetrated.I enjoyed every goddamned minute.”
“But you could have stopped me.You have that strength.”
“Spook, so does Alle.You have to trust her.”Xane cast another quick look around, before making a half-turn and cupping the side of Spook’s face.“Stop doing this to yourself.The mental circles, what are they achieving?I’ll tell you.Nothing, that’s what.Precisely nothing besides making misery for yourself.You are no demon.You never were.You never did anything that you oughtn’t to have.You seriously need to put the whole Siv drama to bed.”
“I can’t.How can I?Think about it, how long do I have before the shit hits the fan?Marshall Hutton is out to destroy me, and Ava’s not going to be happy untilBang!have sunk us as a band.It’s no coincidence that the entireBang!contingent were in the same bar Siv was.They’ve spoken.Fuck knows what she’s said.Whatever it is, you know they’re gonna publish it.Hell, Marshall threatened as much at the end of the previous dig.”
Xane’s fine grey eyes narrowed.
“Xane, I’ve days at most before it all goes to hell and the band goes down with it.I’m not sure I want Alle wound up in all this mess.”
“I’m pretty sure she’d say she already is.Also, that she’d rather have you and face the shit, than not have you.That woman is in love with you in case you haven’t realised it.Also, shagging her and then doing the distance thing is really fucking bad form.Don’t do it.”
“I’m not going to.I don’t want to break this off.I’m a nervous wreck, but I want to explore things more.It feels like there’s a chance for us, for me to build something I didn’t think I was going to get, except…”
Xane took a swig of his drink.“Except nothing.Black Halo aren’t going anywhere, because the truth is that whatever Marshall Hutton puts out there, it’s basically going to be shit.The real story, it’s not hidden, Spook.It’s there in black and white, in court documents, and testaments, and judgements.It took very little finding, and it’ll take any decent journalist very little finding.I’m not saying that things won’t get rough for a while, but the truth will out, and it will all eventually blow over.You can weather this.We all can.”
He wished he had Xane’s faith.
“Trust me, Spook.We’ll get through this together.All of us.”
“Will we?How?Xane, in case you haven’t noticed, we’re playing Download next weekend and we still don’t have a keyboard player.The minute that article lands, no bugger’s gonna want anything to do with us, and we can’t perform without a keyboard player.”
“There’s always Elspeth.”
Spook dragged his feet out of the water, and pulled his knees towards his body, forming himself into a defensive curl.“That is not funny.Don’t even bloody joke about it.It’d create more problems than it would solve.”
As if he needed to remind Xane of that.
Fine, so he was overreacting.It’d been a joke.Xane wasn’t seriously contemplating a return to their former line-up.If anyone else had suggested it, he’d be the first to shout them down.
To his surprise, Xane polished off his drink and rose instead of lobbing back another remark.
“Where are you going?”
“To find Ronnie?”
Spook squinted up at him, shading his eyes as best he could from the sun.“Why?”
Xane smoothed a hand through his glossy hair.“In order to charm his pants off and make sure he’s available next weekend.Call it contingency planning.”
“Uh, hello.Are you not in enough trouble with your girlfriend already for shagging other men?”
His friend flicked his gaze skywards.“Plenty,” he admitted.“But I’m not actually planning on seducing him.I’m just going to plant the notion that I might be willing to go there.Incentivise his cooperation and all that.”
“Or speed up his departure.You know not every man in the world entertains gay fantasies about you?”
Xane’s flippant grin became a chuckle.“Please,” he drawled.Which may as well have been ‘of course they do.’“If I wanted him, he’d totally be my playmate for the afternoon.As it is, I reckon I can dedicate an hour to rampant flirtation for the benefit of the band, then I need to get back to convincing Dani I’m worth the heartache I cause her.”
Spook’s heart gave a dramatic thud.That was his fault.He hated that he’d hurt Dani.“Is she even speaking to you yet?”
