Page 134 of Replay
“It’s all those happy chemicals.After years of abstinence, your body doesn’t know what to do with them.”
“Is that it?”His chest heaved as his exhausted body seemed to take stock.His lips were swollen from kisses.His intensely blue irises reduced to two fine slivers around impressively blown pupils.It seemed he needed a few more moments in which to gather up his scattered electrons and pull himself back together again.
“You know I don’t mind if you sleep.”
“But I mind.”His mouth stretched wide into another silent yawn.“God, I’m fucked.I’m sorry I’m being awful.A braying hippo is not what you need right now.I should be looking after you.”
“Spook, you are.You don’t need to beat yourself up.”Still lying facing, Alle linked their little fingers.“Spook, I’m serious.I love what we have.What you do to me.None of it makes you a bad person, or a monster or anything else.Nor does anything in your past either.”
He hadn’t mentioned such things, but she was looking right at him, at this sleek, intensely sensual creature before her, who was hot as fuck, but still so highly vulnerable.She could see the shadows weren’t gone.They were there, lurking, idling in the depths, pushed down, squashed for a moment, but no doubt preparing battle plans.
“Will you listen to me?You’re not a monster.”
“Many will disagree.Your brothers’ are going to—”
“Sh, now.”She put a finger to his lips.“I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks.I know you, and they don’t.”
“Alle, he’s going to publish—”
She hushed him again.
Spook relented and quietened.A moment passed, and he closed his eyes, though his breathing didn’t even out into restfulness.
“Are you okay?”she asked after a while.“Are you still thinking about it?Him?”
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.“I should be the one asking you that.You’re the one who took all the punishment.Also, you’re the poor bugger who’s related to him.”
She squeezed tight his fingers.“I’m fine and dandy.A cosy sort of sore.I like it.But you’re wrong about it having to be you who does all the care and maintenance.We’re in this together.It’s just as important that you’re okay.”
He opened his eyes.“I’m okay-er for having heard you say that.”
“Are you buzzing?”she asked.There was a hint of delirium about him.
“In a sort of weird middle ground.Part of me is high, the other half… it’s in a dark place, but somebody lit a candle.”
She leaned in and rubbed their noses together.“I love you, Spook Mortensen.Don’t you forget it.”
“I won’t, and I love you, Alle Hutton.Don’t you forget it, either.”
“Won’t happen.Not ever,” she reassured him around a wide yawn.Apparently they were contagious.“Are we okay to sleep here?I want to sleep here.”
“We can sleep here.Though on an ordinary day, you probably wouldn’t want to.”
She snuggled closer, so that their noses were practically pressed together.“Because?”
“Best not to think about it.”
She prodded him in the ribs.“Spook, why?”
“Ow,” he protested.“Look, all I’m saying is you wouldn’t want to go shining any UV torches in here.”
“Ew.Gross,” she complained, sinking deeper into the pillow.“These sheets are clean though, right.Actually, don’t answer.I don’t want to know.I don’t even care at the moment.I think someone flicked a switch in my brain too.”
“Nap time?”
“Definitely nap time,” she agreed.
They both woke twenty minutes before the gig.
