Page 54 of Replay
“Fuck!”Spook dropped his Panini, appetite shrivelled.“I suppose there’s nothing we can—”
“—do?”Xane smooshed his lips together, which made his lip piercing stick out.“Nowt.Not a bloody thing.Believe me, Ash has been on Sally’s back about it since they heard, but Ronnie’s management won’t hear of him backing out.The guy’s riding the top of the download charts at the minute.It makes no sense for them to deny the biggest online music mag in the industry an interview.It sounds like his guy, Chauncey, had been working his fingers off to secure it.He’s got it, because we confirmed we wouldn’t be indulging them.”
Spook groaned.“I bet Ava’s cackling wildly to herself.You know she’s going to turn this into a shit digging exercise.”It’s what Ava Leigh and her rotten crew atBang!Magazinedid.Plus, after Genoa and then Cannes their whole team had it in for him personally.Ava had been gunning for the band for ages, but with the addition of Marshall Hutton, the occasional grizzling about them had turned into slews of sly digs being tweeted and repeated over ad nauseum.Nothing actionably libellous, of course, just catty stuff.
Fuck!Spook covered his face with his hands.In some ways this was worse than her securing an interview with the band.At least they knew what she was like.Ronnie, on the other hand, was a naïve target.
“Then it’s just as well he doesn’t know anything.”Xane pressed his hand over the top of Spook where it rested against the table.The press of strong fingers brought little reassurance.
“Spook, ultimately, Ronnie Bush isn’t our problem.I like the guy.He’s smart, fucking talented, and we owe him for sure, but his career and his path through the minefield that is PR in this day and age is not our concern.”
“Are you so sure?Ava has the perfect excuse to ask about us.He’s getting on stage with us tomorrow night, and he was on stage with us last night.”
“It might not even be Ava who’s interviewing him.”
“Who else is it going to be?”He paused.The answer presented itself immediately.“Seriously?Alle’s brother.”The man whose nose he’d not quite broken.
Was that better or worse?
This was a fucking shit show.
“Xane.”He shook his head.“I’ve a really bad feeling about this.I don’t know what Alle’s shared with Ronnie, and neither of us have a clue what Paul’s shared with him.They’ve been making like they’re best buds, in case you haven’t noticed.Also, in case you haven’t noticed, Ronnie doesn’t hold back on the questions.Maybe you missed him asking Luthor if you bugger one another?”
Apparently that was hilarious.
Spook shoved the table towards Xane as he stood.There wasn’t space in the tiny café to push his chair back.Sensible conversation seemed to have hit a dead end.Besides, he was too agitated to be contained.
Xane snatched up his jacket and jogged after him, as Spook headed for the door.“Spook… Spook.”They pitched up to the right of the café, in front of the cashpoint.“Chill it, eh?Paul knows shit about the stuff that makes you scared, so there’s nothing he could’ve said to Ronnie that warrants this amount of angst.Truly, nothing,” he reiterated.“Ronnie’ll be fine.Think about it.He slotted in last night like he was born to perform.How many other musicians could have done that?Remember all the weeks of shite we had to endure with Willows?Even Luthor took a little while to properly find his groove.”
“Interviews are entirely different to doing a gig.Also, you’re wrong about Paul.”Up until last night Spook would have heartily agreed with Xane.Now?Now, things were different.“He knows precisely enough to be dangerous.”
He’d let the demons out to play.Havoc was inevitable.
Surprise registered in the rounding of Xane’s eyes and mouth.He dragged a rough hand back through his waist-length hair, and didn’t say a word while Spook collected his notes from the ATM machine.“You told him something?”he said, only after they’d walked the length of the street back towards the rehearsal space where Cave Troll was waiting with a car.
“Told?No.”There was no coy way of saying this.“He wound up in bed with Alle and me last night.”
Xane laughed, before he groaned.“You idiot.What the hell?”
“It wasn’t planned.Things… they just happened.And a situation arose where I needed him.”
Stock still, Xane faced him shaking his head.“I get it.Foolish, Spook.Real foolish.Let me guess, you just couldn’t let your guard down enough to do it yourself, so you roped in the man with the giant knob to fuck your girlfriend, thinking it’d stop her begging you for it.Only it won’t.You’ve not saved yourself from anything.You’ve not eased the pressure.Now she knows exactly what sort of kinkery gets you off.”
“She knew that already.”
“Hm.”
Spook disliked both that noise and Xane’s penetrating stare.“It’s all very well, you preaching about how I should just get on and do it, but you haven’t lived through my past.You don’t know what it’s like to be seen as a monster.”Head down, he started walking again, only for Xane’s hand to land on his shoulder and spin him around.When he attempted to shrug him off, Black Halo’s vocalist shoved him up against the nearby wall.“You’re right, I haven’t lived your life.But I’ve endured plenty of shit, and I’ve been betrayed, be it not entirely on the same level.You’re making mountains for yourself, Spook.Mountains that don’t need to exist.If you shag her the sky’s not going to fall in.And Paul’s not going to out you.The big oaf adheres to a code of honour.He’s always scant on the details of his sex life, and not because he doesn’t have one.Ergo, Ronnie knows nothing.”
“Alle,” he blurted.
“Really?”Xane leaned in closer to him, his pale grey eyes shining with consternation.Affection not entirely buried beneath that.“She’s not a cow like Siv.Nor, I think, an over sharer.”His palm wrapped around the back of Spook’s neck.Whisper light, his lips brushed Spook’s brows.“I get it.Your mood.This is the crash after last night’s high.Went to bed feeling invincible, did we?”
Why was it that this man could read him and know the truth as if it were printed in black and white across his skin?
He touched Spook’s cheek, brushed his hair back off his face.“I know you’re scared, Spook.I get it.Any man in your position would be, but logically… The world’s not going to crack open, even if you possess her with every inch you have.There are no links between what you do in bed and the shitty things life throws at you.History isn’t going to repeat itself because you got off inside your girlfriend.”He blinked, and sighed.“If you think, even for a moment, that there’s the slightest, most infinitesimal chance that it genuinely will, then what the hell are you doing with her?You should be running away from her as fast as you damn well can.She should be nowhere near you or anyone you care about.Is that truly what you think of Alle?”
It wasn’t.
