Page 34 of Replay
True.“And I’m not.”
“No.”She splayed her hand across his bare abs, the skin on skin contact making him jolt.“You’re quirky, but loving you is effortless.And there I go saying things that make you frightened again.”
“It doesn’t frighten me to be loved, Alle.It worries me that you feel so strongly when you barely know a thing about me and might not like what you discover if you stick around.”
She gazed lovingly up at him, her expression unguarded, heart open.“Less of the ifs.I’m not going anywhere.Not unless you force me out.”
That’s what he really feared.Attachment.And all that came with it, not the fact that someone might care about him.
She slid her hand up, so that it sat square upon his chest over his heart.“You know, you could just tell me your history,” she said.“Get it over with so you don’t have to worry over me discovering your past dirty deeds courtesy of my brothers.”
Despite realising that she wasn’t serious, Spook’s heart pounded at the thought.His bare toes curled against the deck.Yeah… No.He couldn’t.If he even began to explain, he’d fall right back into the nightmare he told himself he’d escaped.Or rather, that he was continually outrunning.What was to say she wouldn’t be so revolted by his past that she’d run screaming to whoever would listen?
“Isn’t a guy allowed a little mystery?”he teased, praying his voice didn’t betray how disquieted the notion of letting her in like that made him feel.Very few people knew everything.Very few.Xane.His sisters.That was how he’d prefer things to stay.
Alle seemed bemused by his stiffness.She hooked her hand around the back of his neck and tugged him down to her so that their lips could meet.“I’m pretty confident that you haven’t murdered anyone, so we’re good.”
Murder wasn’t the only unforgivable sin.
“Kiss me, Spook.I just need to feel like there’s somebody there.”
He hesitated—he wasn’t even sure why.“Do you want to talk about your dad?”
Decisively, she shook her head.“No.I want to forget about it… him.At least for a while.It’s gone.In the past.I don’t want to think about my family, my arrogant, self-righteous brothers and their daddy complexes.I just want to enjoy us.Being here with you, on the ocean, beneath the stars.No interruptions.I want to hold you and remind myself that you’re real, and I’m not still sixteen and cuddling an oversized stuffed toy.”
“I’m real, Alle,” he promised, resting his hands upon her hips.
She smiled up at him, eyelashes fluttering, so that they cast shadows on her cheeks.“Real, and very, very sexy.And, you smell good.You always smell good, like I can’t inhale enough of you.”
For a moment, he thought she intended to press her nose to his armpits, but she rose onto her toes instead, bringing their faces close enough so that she could rub their noses together.The affectionate Eskimo kiss made him laugh.It tickled too, in addition to sending a thrill through his tensed muscles.
“You look like a fairy tale prince by starlight,” she said.“All that long hair like strands of pure spun silver around your shoulders.And your eyes full of midnight, blue upon black like the sky and the ocean.Your mouth too, all teasing and so quick to morph between sorrow and smiles.”
“I’m no prince, Alle, and if you imagine I look like one, I suspect it’s an illusion.”
“It’s no illusion.”Her hand cupped the right hand side of his jaw.“You’re beautiful, Spook.Can’t you see that?And I mean both inside and out.”
“And you’re very poetic tonight, which makes me think that you’re after something.What is it?Or do I have to guess?”
It was her turn to laugh.She did so lightly, the ring of her voice crystal clear in the star strung darkness.“I’m trying to seduce you, silly.I guess it’s not working.Clearly, I ought to stick to more direct methods known to work on rock stars, like shoving my hand down your pants.”Playfully, she reached for the waistband of his pyjama pants.Spook took a step back so her fingertips grazed the skin of his abs.
“Out here.Really?”
“Why not?It’s a gorgeous night.”
He frowned.It was, undeniably so.Still; “Alle, there are a lot of fans with phones on board.”
“Huh,” she scoffed.“All currently blissfully asleep in their cabins, and not one of them housed upon this level.No one is going to see.”
Being seen wasn’t what he was afraid of.It was what she’d persuade him to do that had him shivering.That primarily because part of him really wanted to do those things.
Alle leaned into him and gave him another Eskimo kiss.“You’re not chicken are you?”
“Absolutely the biggest chicken you ever met.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s totally true.”
