Page 47 of Replay
“I just want to understand.”
He stopped touching her and sat cross-legged.
“Was it to remove the temptation to do it yourself?”
“In part.”
At least he wasn’t denying it.
“It’s complicated, Alle.I didn’t plan it.The moment arose, and it felt right.I liked watching you.I liked the noises you made, and how it felt when you came on my tongue with him inside you.I like that you allowed yourself to let go like that, and trusted me to keep you safe.”
“You liked tormenting Rock Giant too,” she added.
A strand that had escaped the confines of his ponytail fell across his face as he nodded.“I did.I’m afraid I do have a sadistic streak and sex rather brings it out.”
“Will he forgive you, do you think?”
Laughter lines creased his eyes as he grinned goofily.“I’ll probably need to watch out for a while in case he decides to retaliate.”
“It didn’t half make him jerk every time you licked his cock.”
Too warm inside the duvet, Alle shrugged it off.She shuffled closer to Spook instead.“Was that something you’ve done before?”
Darkness flooded his face.Then in a blink it was gone.“I tried a lot of things in my youth.Several of them very ill-advised.”
“Spook, have you had relationships with other guys?”
He shook his head.“I’ve just experimented.”
She coughed.“Well it strikes me that you had very few inhibitions before you were nineteen.”
“In a sense.”Spook rose off the bed.He drank the rest of the cherry water straight from the bottle.“Sex makes me into a bit of a monster.”
That wasn’t at all how she’d have chosen to describe him.Alle followed him onto her feet.“But how does it make you feel?”
More consideration went into his reply than she anticipated.She reached up and he nuzzled his cheek against her palm.
“Unfettered,” he said.
“So, basically free?”
“Dangerously.”
He pulled away from her, leaving her frowning.“You should go to sleep.I’m going to take a shower and brush my teeth.I won’t be long, but there’s no need to stay awake.It’ll be a long day tomorrow, and you’re not used to the sort of punishment you’ve taken.”
Alle opened her mouth to protest, but all that emerged was a huge braying yawn.“Sorry.So, sorry.”Perhaps he was right.
Tenderly, Spook brushed his lips against her brow.“Seriously, get some shut eye.”Alle held onto him long enough to secure a proper kiss too.Then relented, and allowed him to escape into the bathroom, while she climbed into bed.
“You’re an amazing man, Spook Mortensen,” she whispered to the closed bathroom door.
“I’m a fuck up,” she was almost certain she heard him reply.
***
Spook let the hot water rain over his body.No one could see him in the shower, so it didn’t matter if he gave in to the ludicrous grin that he’d been straining to contain.It hurt his cheeks.Made his jaw ache.Snapshots of what they’d done, of Alle, of Paul, kept on flashing through his mind, like it was an old-fashioned film reel playing upon the shower curtain.
He’d kept it together.
