Page 65 of Refrain
He wasn’t all that sure he understood the difference. Mostly it seemed to come down to whether the other person felt it was timed appropriately, or how recently sex had already occurred. Why most people had aone or two shags and we’re done for nowpolicy he’d never grasp. “I was going to offer to suck your cock.”
“And that’s never an offer I want to turn down, but maybe… maybe I should just come down there and hold you for a while.” There wasn’t a whole lot of space between them currently, but Luthor edged forward, and they rearranged themselves so that he was on the floor with Xane, his back to the armchair, and Xane within the circle of his splayed legs, back to Luthor’s front. “I think we need to work on getting him out of this place. It’s entirely too claustrophobic. It’s not good for you either.”
“Agreed, but he has a panic attack if he so much as sets a foot beyond the yard. He’s not ready to face the world.”
Luthor reached over and threw another log on the fire, then he pulled the throw blanket off the chair and wrapped them in it. “What if we went to your cousin’s place? The holiday rental season ended weeks ago. It’ll be quiet. And you did promise Ric last Christmas that we’d record our next album at his new recording studio. Give it a radar boost so to speak.”
“I did promise that, didn’t I?”
For a long while, he’d thought that was where Spook was hiding out. Until Ric had told him to his face that wasn’t the case. “I can suggest it, but I don’t want to push him. I can’t lose him again.”
“I get that.” Luthor rested his chin on Xane’s shoulder.
“Ow.” Xane wriggled his fingers between Luthor and his neck “Did you mark me?”
“Always.” Luthor planted a kiss where his fingertips were pressed against what Xane suspected to be a rather vicious bruise.
“Bit territorial.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not entirely immune to jealousy. For fuck’s sake, he’s hot and he wants you. Plus, I know how much you love him. That makes him a threat, regardless of how laid back about it I seem. We could all of us get really hurt if we’re not careful about it.”
They were all already chewed up.
“I can’t walk away from this.” His heart was doing weird flips at the mere thought.
“I don’t expect you to, Xane. I love you precisely because I know you won’t. I know who you are. Just remember there’s more at stake than purely Spook’s well-being. There’s our relationship, and the one we both want, and the one Alle wants with him, and the band. There might come a point where you have to be selfish or make a choice you’d rather not make.”
Xane covered his mouth with his hands and spoke through his fingers. “I know. Believe me, I know, and that terrifies me. We can’t let it get to that.”
If only he knew how to prevent it.
-26-
Spook
Spook woke to find dawn creeping around the edge of the curtains and Xane wrapped around him like an extra blanket, his nose poking him in the back of the neck, and something extra perky poking him lower down.
“You’ve slept well,” his friend observed, breath warming Spook’s cheek.
It was true. For the moment, he felt revived, his sleep having been deep and surprisingly dreamless. Nor had he woken achy and torn with arousal.
“Why are you in here with me?” he asked, a spike of fear slicing through the momentary calm. “You and Luthor haven’t—”
“We’re fine, worry bot. The bed’s softer than the floor, that’s all.”
“That where he is?”
“I think he’s actually in the chair.”
“Then, maybe you’d like to go poke him with the wood you’re currently branding my arse with.”
Xane shifted his hips, which gave Spook enough space to roll onto his front. He turned his head so that they were facing, and he could see the glint of Xane’s eyes in the half-light, make out the curves of his smile. He appeared to be as naked as when Spook had left last night.
“He’s a keeper, you know. I don’t want to muck things up for you.”
“I’ve noticed, and you won’t.”
“I mean it, Xane. He gets you. It’s beautiful and kind of sappy exactly how in tune the pair of you seem.”
