Page 68 of Enemies with an Earl
Broken beyond repair.
He balled his fists at his sides, trying desperately to drown out the infestation of vile thoughts. Thoughts that had plagued him since the moment Thorne had left his chamber two nights ago, had torn through him like a jagged razor as he’d fallen apart. They were always there, lingering in the background, waiting for the moment his defenses crumbled. Waiting for the first sign of weakness.
Like two nights ago.
Felix had secluded himself in his room the entire day yesterday, licking his wounds. He’d blamed it on the excitement of the events at the cottage, claiming he needed time to rest before his family arrived. Which was the only reason he was no longer cocooned inside the canopy of his bed, buried under the covers. Wallowing in the dark.
Sinking under the weight of it all, just him and his demons.
Felicity kept shooting him nervous glances from where she stood next to him. She’d burst into his room when he hadn’t made an appearance by the late afternoon—decidedlynotlike the Earl of Bentley. He’d refused to talk about it, which had only made Felicity more nervous. His family was well-aware of what caused him to fall into melancholy like this. And when he had requested Felicity be the one to help him get ready for the day…
What did Thorne do to you? I’ll murder him, Felix. Just say the word.
His sister was turning into quite the lioness, just like their protective mother.
But Thorne hadn’t done anything wrong, something he had assured his sister of. It was the opposite, really. Thorne had done everythingright. He’d been—in a word—perfect the other night. It was Felix who was the problem. It was he who had ruined everything.
Broken beyond repair.
His heart had been in his throat since he’d left his room this morning. What was he supposed to do if he came face to face with the man? Not only was he drowning in his past; he wasfucking mortified. Could it get any more embarrassing than falling apart during what was supposed to be a casual shag? He was sure Thorne was avoiding him as well. No man wanted to deal with someone who was this touched in the head. Hell, he’d probably scarred the man for life.
His sister shot another concerned glance his way.
“Stop, Flick,” Felix said between his teeth without dropping his smile. “If you keep looking at me like I’m a fragile piece of porcelain, Mother is going to know something is wrong.”
Felicity scoffed and shook her head. “She’s going to know, anyway, Fifi.”
The carriage rolled to a stop, and Felix widened his smile. No, Mother wouldn’t. Felix was going to do a bang-up job of hiding it. No matter how agonizing an effort it would be.
He hurried forward as a footman opened the door to the carriage, determined to be the one to assist his mother down. Her face lit as soon as she laid eyes on him. He helped her down and was immediately engulfed in his petite mother’s arms. And in that brief moment, his mother’s light chased away the shadows. He might be the fearsome Earl of Bentley, but underneath it all, he would forever remain his mother’s son.
With a last squeeze, his mother pulled away and turned toward Flick. Mother planted a hand on her hip and arched a rose-gold brow.
Felicity tucked her chin and went sheepish. “I must beg your pardon, Mama. For running off…”
“Without a word, Felicity. No note. I wasterrified. And alone! I cannot believe you traveled all the way herealone. I swear my heart stopped beating when I found out. Next time you have grand plans of running off to seduce a reclusive Duke, at least bring someone with you!”
Felix’s lips twitched into a semblance of a smile for the first time all day.
And then his mother was swamping Felicity in a hug of her own. “I may not be happy with how you went about it, darling. But Iamhappy for you. So unbelievably happy for you.”
“Thank you, Mama,” Felicity whispered.
“Where are Fitzwilliam and Georgiana?” Felix scanned the inner bailey, but there was only Mother’s lady’s maid in her carriage, and the second carriage was Bentley servants. A small weight lifted when he spotted Giles, his valet, stepping down—rather shakily—from the servant’s conveyance.
Felix winced. He really ought to settle a pension on the man and let him enjoy a quiet retirement. But at least for the rest of this visit, he wouldn’t have any need to call for Thorne. The knot in his shoulders eased at the same time an odd pang shot through the hollowness in his chest.
His hands twitched, the urge to rub his breastbone nearly impossible to resist. But he needed to keep his cheerful facade in place until he could escape his mother’s presence. Speaking of…the woman in question was staring intently at him. He shifted on his feet.
“Georgiana was experiencing quite a bit of queasiness on the road, so they had to make some additional stops along the way to take some air. They should arrive in the next hour or so, I’d imagine.”
Felicity’s amber brows bunched together. “That’s odd. She’s never experienced travel sickness before.”
“Mmm,” Mother hummed noncommittally, shooting Felix a last searching glance before linking her arm with her daughter. “Let us go greet the Duke. I’d like to offer my congratulations to your new betrothed. Hopefully, this will be the last one you have.”
Felicity snorted. “I’ve only had two Mama. That’s not so many.”
“Yes, well, there is one more Stuart man,” Mother teased. “I’m not counting out a third.”
