Page 70 of Forecheck
Nestled on top of sparkly white tissue paper was a pass for entrance to the festivities at the upcoming NHL All-Star weekend, the pass heavy plastic dangling from an All-Star Game branded lanyard. Next to the pass was an envelope, which I opened to find flight itineraries—for first class seats—for round-trip airfare between Detroit and Las Vegas, where the ASG was taking place. Beneath the tissue paper was a jersey with the logo for the Eastern Conference team on the front. When Lexie lifted hers from the box, I saw Brent’s name and number on the back.
“I’m going to kill him,” I said through clenched teeth, draining the remainder of my Rosé before Lexie had taken a single drink of hers.
“Okay, but can you do it after we spend next weekend in Vegas?”
“Lex!” I scolded. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m dead serious, Berk. I don’t understand why you’re not jumping at this chance. First class tickets. A suite to ourselves? Access to the entire weekend of events? As a hockey fan, this should be a dream come true. So what gives?”
I understood where she was coming from. A free vacation had fallen into our laps, and I had no intention of taking it. I didn’t want to owe anyone anything—including my boyfriend—and lavish gifts like this made me feel beholden to him in a way that made my skin crawl.
My friends had never really understood my relationship with money—and why I was so intent on being financially self-sufficient. When Logan and I were little, still practically in diapers, my parents had decided to start their own company: a full service residential contracting and real estate firm. At the time, both had been working for bosses they hated, my dad as a construction manager and my mom as a junior real estate agent. You’d never know it now, but those early years had been difficult while they worked tirelessly to get the business off the ground. There’d been some light years where they struggled to pay bills and keep us all fed. By the time Jessica had arrived, the bad days were behind us, but Logan and I remembered. Now my family was certainly well off, and well-known across the state for their top-tier work and customer service, but my parents had raised me and my siblings to work our asses off for everything we wanted in life.
Thanks to that upbringing, I had never been a frivolous spender. In fact, leasing my apartment was the first indulgence I’d ever made for myself. I’d received numerous scholarships for undergrad and had also worked through college to cover the rest, always saving a hefty portion of my earnings. Some of that money, of course, went to bills and other college-related expenses, like Michigan State Thursday night specials such as Rama and Rick’s. The remainder went to saving for law school.
I’d decided not to work while actually in law school, wanting instead to devote all my time and energy to honing my craft. I knew these three years would be grueling, and looking back, I was confident in my decision. My parents’ successful business afforded me with a trust fund, the bulk of which I couldn’t access until I turned thirty. Until then, I’d received a yearly stipend to cover tuition and other expenses, including rent on my apartment.
I started working at fourteen and hadn’t stopped. A stipulation of our trust funds was that my sister, brother, and I worked various jobs with Daniels Contracting and Real Estate growing up, an income I’d supplemented by working at my friend Amara’s family winery.
In short, I didn’t expect or accept handouts.
And accepting an all-expenses paid vacation to Vegas when I’d done nothing except be Brent’s girlfriend? That didn’t sit right with me.
“I can see your wheels spinning in there,” Lexie said, reaching over to tap my temple.
“You know how I feel about taking things I don’t think I’ve earned.”
“I do,” she said slowly. “But Berkley…this isn’t someone walking up to you on the street and handing you a million dollars free and clear. This is your boyfriend, offering you a vacation because he wants to spend more time with you.”
“He could’ve just asked me if I wanted to go.”
“So you could reject him and hurt his feelings?”
“Telling him no wouldn’t hurt his feelings,” I protested. I waved my hands at the gifts strewn across the table. “Andhe’shurtingmineby doing this.”
“Berk…” Lexie started, and I knew all of my issues with this would vanish with her next words. That was the problem with someone who knew you better than you knew yourself—Lexiehad a habit of forcing me to see how ridiculous I was being and talking me out of being mad about one thing when the issue was really something else. “I get you’re afraid. This thing between you happened really fast, and he’s unlike any guy you’ve ever been with before. Have you ever stopped to consider that his love language is gift giving? And doing this makes him happy? He’s not doing it to buy you, or to chain you together because you feel like you owe him something. He’s doing it because he cares about you, and this is how he shows that.”
And…fuck. I deflated, all the fight leaving me like air from a popped balloon. She was right, about everything. Being cherished and taken care of—both physically and emotionally—in a relationship was new territory for me, and clearly I was struggling to acclimate.
“I hate it when you’re right.”
Lexie smiled smugly. “So…we’re going?”
With a sigh, I nodded. “We’re going.”
After dinner, I went right to Brent’s.
My mind whirled the entire drive, the conversation with Lexie dredging up old memories. My traitorous mind replayed scenes from my relationship with Lee over and over.
Lee was about seven years older than me. I’d been seventeen when we met, just shy of celebrating my eighteenth birthday. Funnily enough, we’d be introduced through mutual friends at a Halloween party, and…damn. I’d fallen hard and fast. I’d never really been in a serious relationship before him. I’d already lost my virginity, but it was more circumstances lining up perfectly,and a friend and I deciding to go for it one night after a few too many stolen beers on the beach.
Didn’t recommend sex on the beach without a blanket, by the way.
But Lee…looking back now, I could see that he’d been grooming me to be dependent on him. I’d grown up being entirely self-sufficient, with parents and siblings who encouraged my independence. Within the confines of that relationship, it had all come crashing down. I’d turned into a shell of my former self. Like I’d told Brent, when I’d gone off to school, Lee had guilt tripped me about not being there with him, making me feel like shit and thus ruining my fun when I chose to spend my weekends in East Lansing instead of heading home to Traverse City.
The moment that should’ve really kicked me in the ass and sent me running happened right before I left for college, when we got into an argument about…me leaving for college. He wanted me to stay nearby, but I’d be dreaming of going to Michigan State for years, basically since Logan decided he wanted to go. I would’ve followed my brother—my best friend—anywhere. I was so fucking nervous to leave home, but I knew nothing bad could happen when I had Logan waiting for me.
It had been a few days before I left, and I’d taken the evening off packing to spend some time with Lee. I remember how badly my heart ached at the thought of leaving him, but the thought of staying put scared me more.
