Page 60 of A Vine Mess
Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to find out.
But I needed to be present in this moment, wanted to enjoy this adventure with him at my side.
“For what it’s worth,” I said, “my favorite flower is African violets.”
“Those are pretty,” he mused. “And purple.”
I giggled. “I’m nothing if not predictable.”
He hummed noncommittally in response, then said, “Okay, I’ve got one for you.”
“Lay it on me, Wills.”
“What’s your biggest regret?”
The joviality from a moment before dissipated instantly, and my entire body stilled.
“What a loaded question,” I choked out.
Liam cursed softly under his breath and said, “Sorry. You don’t have to answer.”
I waved him off. “No, I want to. It’s just…I never really believed in regret, you know? We all make our own choices. Sometimes they work out great, and sometimes they backfire. When I met him, I thought Alfie was the best idea I’d ever had.”
I remembered that day like it was yesterday. My sisters and I had gone to Detroit for a little girls’ weekend, and we’d been at this small music venue where indie artists performed. Chloe was looking for inspiration for her next novel, still searching forthat hook that would be the thing to finally make all her dreams come true, and she got a bug up her ass about writing a rockstar romance.
I suggested we go seeactualrockstars, like The 1975, but my sisters quickly vetoed that idea.
At that time, I’d been feeling a little restless, watching my sisters accomplish all of these big things while I worked at a flower shop. I loved my job, and adored Fanny, who was like a grandmother to me and my sisters, but…I’d been craving more.
And then Alfie came on the stage, his low, smoky voice ringing out over the crowd, and I was a goner. I’d been mesmerized by him, by how at odds his singing voice was with his whole vibe—the skinny jeans, the stupid studded collar he wore routinely for the first year of our relationship, the artfully distressed Metallica tee.
His voice was meant for cigar lounges and intimate gatherings, for velvet jackets and wing-tip shoes, not the grungy ass club we’d been standing in, nor the clothes that looked like they came from a dumpster.
Still, afterward, I couldn’t resist the pull to introduce myself.
In the early days, everything had been great. The first six months had been some of the best of my life.
But then Delia shared a video on her TikTok, a two minute clip of one of his shows. He blew up overnight, and everything changed. I didn’t blame my sister. Had she known what would happen, she likely wouldn’t have done it, and I would’ve remained blissfully unaware of the kind of man I’d shackled myself to.
It had started as little things: backhanded comments aboutmy outfits, jokes about “more cushion for the pushing” when we had sex, especially when he took me from behind. Then he started traveling more, insisting I join him only to get pissed off when I couldn’t because I had to work.
Fanny would’ve let me go too, but I never told Alfie that. My job was the one thing I’d refused to let him take from me when every other thing I’d loved had been slowly stripped away or turned against me.
Except my sisters. Through the worst of it, despite how much they hated him, they were there for me.
That final month had been almost blissful in the sense that he’d pulled away considerably until we only spoke once every few days. I hadn’t minded—in fact, I’d relished the distance, savored the silence in my mind where his shitty words normally cycled constantly.
I could almost see the hit coming before it punched me in the face, that first “hey girlie” DM sending me into a spiral of shame and anger.
I didn’t tell Liam any of that, though. I wasn’t ready to fully air out that dirty laundry in front of him, knowing he’d never look at me the same again.
Finally, I said, “I regret that I wasted so much fucking time on him. Time I could’ve given to someone who deserved it.”
I gave him a wry smile as his thoughts flickered across his blue eyes, broadcasting them between us, mirroring my own.
Someone like him.
The drive from SouthDakota to the edge of Grand Teton had been…informative, to say the least. I loved getting to know more about Ella outside of the things I’d observed over the years, and her genuine curiosity about me pleased me deeply.
