Page 109 of Wasted
She stepped back. Managed to swallow. “That wasn’t me. It was Christ.”
“Ah, right.” Cillian’s lips curled into what looked like a sardonic smile. “The aroma.”
“Exactly.”
He turned away, his back angling toward her like a door about to be shut in her face. Though she was the one who’d pulled away.
“You could have it, too, Cillian.”
He paused and pivoted partway toward her. “Have what?”
“Christ in you, changing who you are. If you truly want to be better, you could ask Jesus to save you, and He will make you a better man, a better person than you could imagine.” A sense of urgency rose inside her as she spoke. Cillian seemed to be listening. “He’ll guide you through life and help you to know the best way to live. He’ll give you hope for the future.”
“I’m not a confused kid anymore, Vicks. I know how I want to live.” Cillian’s mouth softened into a wistful curve. He reached toward her face.
Her breath caught.
He brushed back some loose tendrils of hair that must have escaped her bun, his warm fingertips grazing her ears, sending shivers of awareness down her spine. “And I have a lot of hope for our future.”
Hope for our future.
Cillian’s words replayed in an almost constant cycle in Victoria’s mind as Sydney rapidly told her about everything that had happened that day. Victoria should be paying more attention to the teen, but her mind wouldn’t let go of Cillian’s statement. He clearly had some hope that they, Cillian and Victoria, were going to have a future together.
She’d left after that without saying more, other than agreeing to his plan to watch Clinton Glenn constantly until he was in police custody. How could she say no when Cillian wanted to do so to protect her? And Sydney, of course.
“Victoria?” The girl’s voice broke through her thoughts.
“I’m sorry, Sydney.” She looked at the teen where she sat on the floor next to Max, the Leonberger soaking up her attention as if he’d never received anything so wonderful in his life. “I’m a little tired this evening. Did you ask me something?”
“Yeah. I think you must’ve missed what I said about Treese. I wondered why you didn’t get mad.”
Tension crept into Victoria’s chest. “Mad? Why would I get mad?”
“She told me keeping my baby was a bad idea.”
Victoria shifted to the edge of the armchair cushion. “She what?”
“She said it’s going to ruin my life, and abortion would be nicer for me and the baby.”
Victoria forced herself to breathe through her nose before she spoke again. There was no point in taking her anger out on Sydney. The poor teen was a victim of Victoria’s lack of judgment in asking Treese to stay with her.
Good grief. Victoria had known her sister had bought into much of the secular world’s thinking, but abortion? And to tell a teenage girl to murder her own baby? In Victoria’s home, no less. “I’m so sorry, Sydney. I had no idea she would say those things to you. I didn’t even know she was so confused and believed such lies. You know they’re lies, right?”
“Oh, yeah.” Sydney pulled her hand away from Max’s head to wave away the suggestion. “I’m still keeping my baby. She’s as much a person as you and me. I think I knew that before, even when I thought about getting an abortion. But once I saw her in the ultrasound…” Sydney’s gaze took on a distant look, like she was remembering the moment. A smile curved her lips. “Well, I guess I fell in love.” She rested her hand on her round belly. “This is my baby girl, and nobody’s going to hurt her.”
Thank you, Lord. The transformation in Sydney was amazing, from the girl who’d visited Life Center to learn more about getting an abortion to this young mother bear, ready to defend her unborn child.
“Plus, I know her daddy will love her, too. I told Treese how he’s going to marry me, and my baby will have a dad. She didn’t believe me, but it’s true. It’s the reason I fell in love with him. ’Cause at home, well…” Sydney lowered her upper body to rest her head on Max’s side. “You know what it’s like. My mom never really loved me. And my dad left when I was like two.”
Victoria’s heart squeezed at the effort Sydney put forth to sound nonchalant. But her pain couldn’t be disguised. No wonder the girl had been vulnerable to an unscrupulous man, ready to prey upon her void, the desperate desire to be loved.
“But my guy, he was the first person who ever really loved me, you know?” Sydney’s fingers trailed through Max’s long fur as the dog patiently served as her pillow and comforter. “That’s why I can’t tell anybody who he is. It would be like betraying him. But he really loves me, so he’ll text me back. He’s probably just waiting until our baby’s born. I bet he’s gonna surprise me, maybe at the hospital. He likes to surprise me with gifts and things. Like roses and chocolate…”
Sydney’s voice smoothed and grew quieter as she continued to list the alleged proofs that the man loved her. It was as if the girl was repeating a list she must have reviewed many times in order to comfort herself.
But what would she do when he never did contact her again? When he never acknowledged his child or Sydney and never offered her the support and happy ending she expected? She was putting far too much hope in the mysterious man who had likely used her without ever intending to commit to her in any way.
When she finally had to face the fact that he had rejected her, that he didn’t love her, it could destroy her. And then she would have a baby she was supposed to raise, another young life to be damaged by the fallout.
