Page 66 of That Friendzone Feeling
Shethrows her arms wide. “Ifyou hate it that much, you could askMaxto invest.Thehelp is there if you’d just ask for it.But, oh, no, you won’t do that, will you?Becauseof the stupid subclause to the stupid pact and because you think you’ve already taken too much from him and the family.That’sguilt too.You’reriddled with it, and it’s crippling you from moving on with all parts of your life.”
She’sright—there’s as much guilt flowing through my veins as blood.
Myparents’ death causedMaggieandJimmore than just grief.Theywere already struggling with their three boys when they took in me andTom—two more souls they couldn’t afford to feed and clothe.Wehad to move farther out ofBoston, givingJimeven more of a commute for his long city bus driving hours, andMaggiestarted cleaning for other families in our apartment building.Neitherof those things would have had to happen ifIhadn’t pretended to have a fucking bellyache.Thatone selfish, childish act has had so many awful consequences.
Emilysees it.Allof it.Shesees me.Allof me.
AndIlove her all the more for it.It’sa rare and precious thing when someone gets you the way she gets me.
Iwalk around the sofa and stop just feet from her as she takes a deep breath, the fabric of her dress across her chest trembling.
Sheshakes her head, and her voice calms a little. “DoIlike thatChaseseems to like me?Yes.Yes,Ido.”Thefight in her subsides. “Whowouldn’t like it when an incredibly successful, talented, smart, respected man shows interest inthem?”Hervoice cracks. “Youknow better than anyone that no decent human has shown interest in me for a very long time.”
Shemight as well have just stabbed me in the chest. “Youdon’t thinkI’ma decent human?”
“Oh,Walker, come on.Youknow as well asIdo that we can’t cross that line.”Hereyes fall shut as her head flops to one side and she exhales, exasperated.
“Everythingyou say about my parents is true.AndGodknows my sister’s not a whole lot better.”Sheopens her eyes and looks at me. “Youhave to understand that you’re the only person who’s ever really supported me and believed in me.Andyou know that means everything.”There’sa pleading tone in her voice. “Youknow that.”
Shelooks down and plays with the top edge of the sofa cushion. “AndI’mnever going to jeopardize it.Evenif you did give me the orgasm of my life.”
Thatmight be the most gratifying sentenceI’veever heard.Myheart about leaps from my chest with joy.Andpride.Thebest of her life?AndIonly touched her through her jeans.Thatkind of magic comes only from being with the right person.SheknowsI’mthe right person.Shejust needs to admit it to herself.
Itake one more step and am within touching distance. “Ididwhat?”
Shelooks up, the defiance back in her eyes. “Itdoesn’t matter.Itmakes no difference.Wecan’t do this.Andyou need to stop worrying whenI’mlate and not be jealous ifItry to charm—”
That’senough.
Ifthere’s one thingI’velearned from my parents’ death, it’s that life’s too short.Waytoo fucking short.Andif shewants me as much asIwant her, then it’s time to get the hell on with it.
Sofuck it.
Itake the beautiful, pissed-off face in front of me in both hands and silence it with my mouth.
19
EMILY
Wherethe hell did that come from?
HowareWalker’slips on me again?
That’snot where they should be.
Theyshould be on the other side of the room annoying me.
Theyshould most definitely not be pressed against mine, being all soft, delicious, and tasting of beer.Theyshould not be distracting me from being infuriated with him.EvenifIwas just picking a fight to prove to myself we’d be a terrible match.Andthey should not be proving to me that we would not be a terrible match.
Butwe would be, andIcan’t let this happen.
Iplace my hands on his gorgeous broad chest to push him away.ButbeforeIcan exert any pressure, he pulls me tighter and runs his tongue along my lower lip.
Noman has ever taken hold of me with such surety before.Theway he grabbed my face a moment ago was like he’d never been more certain that what he wants is me.Thisamazing, smart, talented, and oh-so-sexy man wants me.Mybest friend wants me.
Ifany other woman turned him down,I’dthink they were crazy.MaybeIshouldn’t let myself be crazy any longer.Nomatter how terrible an idea this is.Nomatter what the consequences might be.
Ihave to decide right now, in this second, whether to push him away or go with it.Thoseare the only two options.
