Page 128 of Ashes
CHAPTER 36
JAMAL
I was workingon a client’s contract when I heard the front door slam open. Puzzled, I looked at the time on my computer.
It couldn’t be Kai and Valentina because they were already here since they’d decided to work from home today, unless one of them decided to go out.
As for Sienna, it was too early for her to be here andIwas supposed to pick her up after her shift was done, which was only in five hours.
I got my answer the moment my wife stormed into my office, fury emanating off of her.
Not your wife, my mind mocked me, reminding me of what I’d sent her this morning with my lawyer. At least, she wouldn’t be for much longer.
She marched over to me and threw a stack of papers onmy desk. They scattered all over the wooden surface. “What is this?” she asked, seething.
I never wanted to do this, but every time I closed my eyes, the sight of her unconscious, with no pulse, flooded my thoughts.
When I met her gaze, it was filled with heat, but not from anger. She was hurt and it made all of this even worse than it already was.
“Divorce papers,” I said calmly, but internally I was anything but calm. My heart twisted so tight, I could barely breathe, barely felt anything in my body given how much having to do this hurt.
But it was for the best. It might have been unfair of me to make that decision for her, but I wouldn’t let her get hurt. Not again. Not after she died in my arms.
If the paramedics hadn’t shown up when they did, I could have lost her forever.
I wouldn’t have her put in another situation like this one simply because she was my wife. It was my job to protect her and I’d already failed once. I wouldn’t have that again.
She got closer, her finger jamming on top of the stack of papers. “You want a divorce?” she croaked out, her hand slightly trembling.
I tried to maintain her gaze, to appear convincing, but it was too hard, so I looked away. “Yes,” I forced the word out. I swallowed against the lump in my throat. “It’s for the best.”
“Look at me,” she ordered. When I didn’t, she repeated herself, “I said, look at me. If you’re going to divorce me, I want you to look me in the eyes.”
So I did look at her.
“Is it the best for me or foryou?” she asked, her eyes brimming with tears.
Barely able to speak through the persistent tightness in my throat, I said, “It’s the right thing to do.”
Saying those words, which were far from the truth, ripped my heart open and shattered the muscle into pieces. I loved her more than I thought could ever be possible, but I’d suffer a miserable life if it meant she would be safe.
She took a step back and crossed her arms above her chest. “I see.”
Using the opportunity, I grabbed one of the pens on my desk and offered it to her. She just stared at me like I’d grown another head.
“You want me to sign this now?”
“Why wait?”
“Why wait?” she echoed, and I could feel my heart ripping more by the second she prolonged this. She just had to sign and then it would be over, right? The pain would stop and I’d know I made the right decision.
Right?
She’ll eventually understand,I tried to convince myself, but it wasn’t working. I didn’t know if anything would ever work at convincing me that she wasn’t the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Thatwillever happen to me.
She hadn’t moved, hadn’t taken the pen from me or picked up the papers either.
