Page 68 of Burdens
I stared at her and said what I’d been holding in without hesitation. “You.”
A hoarse laugh left her lips as if my previous statement was a mere joke. She sighed a frustrated breath and opened the refrigerator to grab a water bottle.
I stood rooted at the outskirts of the entry hallway, her back to me. “Amalia, come here.”
Her fingers tightened around the bottle. “No,” she replied sharply, still not looking at me as she walked toward the back door.
“Isaidcome here, Amalia.”
She whipped around, the anger that I knew was brewing deeper inside finally coming out. She dropped the plastic bottle on the counter and took a step toward me, pointing an accusing finger in my direction.
“You donotget to tell me what to do,” she snapped.
There’s my girl.
My gaze didn’t falter from hers. “We have to talk.”
She laughed, but there was no humor in her tone. “Talk? About what? More lies? You know, every time I learn something new about you, I think to myself, “That’s it, there can’t be any more secrets between us.” And then something else pops up and I’m reminded that I don’t know you at all. That all the time we spent together was just a lie.”
I winced at her words but didn’t back away. I deserved it and I would face every ounce of her anger if it meant she talked to me.
I ran a hand through my hair. “I never lied to you aboutwhoI was or how I felt about you. How Istillfeel about you.”
Her fists tightened at her sides, her knuckles turning white. “Don’t you dare do that. Don’t you dare fucking pretend you felt anything for me,” she snarled.
How could she ever think that? I’d messed up,badly, but never did I think she thought I’d never cared for her, never loved her. I hadn’t said the words, but she must have known.
My brows furrowed. “Do you really believe that?”
She crossed her arms on her chest. “Why would I believe anything else you say when you left without so much as a goodbye? No warning, no note…nothing.”
“I didn’t?—”
“You didn’t what?” she said, her words low and bitter. “Please just spare both of us from more of your lies.”
She moved in my direction and brushed past me, heading for the front door.
I wrapped my fingers around her forearm. My grasp was gentle, but it didn’t stop the feel of her skin from burning through mine. “Do not walk away from me,” I warned.
She jerked her head up to look at me and tugged her arm out of my grip, putting distance between us. “No,” she hissed. “You do not get to tell me that.Youwalked away from me.”
She shook her head, huffing out in disbelief. “You know I waited for hours all alone in your apartment for you to return with ‘breakfast.’ I waited as long as I could before I had to leave and return to the dorms before anyone grew suspicious. Then on Monday morning, I walked into the training room to learn from a complete fucking stranger that you took an unexpected leave of absence with no known date for your return and that they would be replacing you until further notice.”
“I’m sorry,” I started, taking a tentative step toward her.
She took a step back. “I don’t care. Your apology doesn’t matter to me. Not anymore.” She headed for the front door again.
My heart pounded furiously in my chest, my mind a chaotic whirlwind of emotions. Watching her walk away from me felt as if everything I cared about was slipping through my fingers again.
But this time, I wouldn’t let it happen.
It’d been almost ten years and I still felt like I was fucking things up despite carefully trying to find the right words to say. So fuck it, no more thinking. I needed to lay it all out on the table and stop walking on eggshells, trying to find a balance between telling her everything while trying not to further enrage her.
“You changed things for me, Amalia.”
She turned to face me again. “Oh, spare me with your bullshit. You left me. I fell in love with you and you skipped town without a goodbye.”
“I couldn’t stay. I wanted to, but I just… I couldn’t. I needed to leave.”
