Page 11 of Wishing for Christmas
“But why?”
“Because I think this relationship is worth it.”
She stared at the table and shook her head. She wanted to believe everything could work out—that they could weather the storm of a yearlong deployment. But couples went through this all the time—strong couples that had been together for years—andtheydidn’t always come out of it intact. As much as sheliked Brent, the two of them hardly knew each other, really. Maybe it was too much for a new relationship to handle. Maybe a year was too long to be apart. Maybe this situation was just too complicated for her. Perhaps not getting to spend Christmas with him was the sign she needed to close the door on them entirely.
Clara didn’t know what to say. She simply looked up at him with anguish.
He cocked his head to one side, watching her expression. “I know this is a lot to take in right now. You’re going to need some time to think. I understand that.”
She only nodded. What could she possibly say that would make any difference at all?
“Will you come to the base tomorrow to see me off?”
“What?”
“I can’t imagine leaving without you there to kiss me goodbye and to tell me everything’s going to be okay. Thatweare going to be okay.”
She shook her head and pushed a stray hair off her face. “I don’t know, Brent.”
“Please? It’s important to me that you’re there.” His eyes silently pleaded with her. There was a yearning beneath the surface of his expression, something urging her to trust in something she didn’t fully understand. Perhaps it was simply a feeling of hope.
Clara thought more about their relationship. What chance did they have? The odds were definitely stacked against them.
Brent always seemed to work hard at everything, though. Maybe theycouldmake it work. Deep down, she knew he was just as upset as she was about this. He was just willing to wait—and work—for them. But was she?
She looked up at her boyfriend with a sad attempt at a smile. Her perfect new boyfriend who was being ripped away from herright before Christmas. She studied his gorgeous brown eyes and, for the first time that night, suddenly thought about a future with him—a real future. It was certainly easy to imagine. But without Christmas to seal the deal, did they even stand a chance? Why couldn’t they have their relationship-affirming magical Christmas as planned before he had to leave? That way, she would have at least known if they actually had a future together before making this type of commitment. Why did things always have to be so hard?
Clara felt the heavy weight of frustration press down on her chest. Before this dinner, she’d been floating on air, ready to celebrate a romantic Christmas. Ever since meeting Brent, she felt as if she had a new appreciation for the world and everything in it. Now, in an instant, she was reminded just how unforgiving it could really be.
She wiped away her tears and sat up straighter in her chair. She raised her chin and, with the bravest voice she could muster, despite all her reservations, said, “Of course I will be there.”
After all, what else could she say?
CHAPTER SIX
BRENT
Brent was exhausted when he got home from the restaurant. The heaviness of unloading that bomb had taken its toll. Neither of them had been able to work up an appetite, so they’d called it an early night. He needed to get ready to leave the next morning. Clara, she’d told him, needed to think.
He went down to his basement to decompress. He picked up the piece of wood he’d been working on and narrowed his eyes. It had come out exactly the way he’d wanted. Too bad he couldn’t say the same for the relationship.
Brent replayed the entire evening in his mind. He hated to disappoint Clara like that. He knew it was asking a lot of her to even consider this type of long-distance relationship. It wasn’t what she had signed on for when they began dating. But this deployment wasn’t within his control, a fact that was becoming harder for him to accept by the minute.
He wished things were different. He knew that if he and Clara were to sustain their relationship, they would eventually have to face separations. If only they could have had more time together before having to endure one of this magnitude.
He knew he should spend the evening packing to get ready for the deployment. The only thing he cared about, though, was completing Clara’s gift. He needed to get it right.
He held it up to the lightbulb that hung from the ceiling to inspect it. With the carving complete, Brent needed to start the process of sanding the wood in preparation for staining. He would finish it tonight. He would give it to Dave and ask him to deliver it to Clara’s house on Christmas morning.
Thinking about Christmas, Brent started to grieve over all the canceled plans. His Christmas checklist was now obsolete. The entire mission aborted before it even began.
As he sanded the wood, he chewed over the possible outcomes. What were their chances, really? It was certainly possible that a deployment could bring them closer together, but more likely things could simply fizzle out between them the longer he was away.
He knew he could commit to making it work, but would Clara actually be willing to go through all of this? Or was this whole situation too much for her? He wouldn’t blame her if it was.
Well, tomorrow would be his first clue. Clara had told him she would come to see him off. Though after an evening alone to think about things, she might not show up. The thought caused his entire body to deflate.
Clara was special. The feelings Brent had for her told him she was worth holding on to. A year away, and she’d surely be snatched up by someone else before he returned. Possibly even by that ex-boyfriend boss of hers. No, she was far too important to him. Maybe he couldn’t change his circumstances, but unfortunate timing or not, he wasn’t dumb enough to let her go already.
