Page 100 of Rebound
So many baby and parenting books say we should have started work on the nursery earlier, but I wasn’t ready. The fear of losing the baby, of losing myself and the tension between me and Patrick made it hard to focus on the future that way. Now we’re in such a good place, and there’s nothing I want more than to start planning for the rest of our lives. Or at least start with next year.
I nod and smooth a hand over my stomach. “This has been my home for so long and I love that we got to start over here. But the guest bedroom isn’t going to be big enough and don’t you want a garden to chase our kids and dogs?”
He chuckles. “How many dogs are we thinking?”
“One at least, maybe two.”
“I think two would be a good number.”
I slide a hand through his untied hair, fingers tangling in the knots. “There are folks at work who can help me find some options.”
“You’ve been thinking about this a while, huh?”
My face heats up and I shrug. “I want us to create memories together in a place not tainted by my previous relationship. This flat has been good to me, to us, but I’ve outgrown it.”
After Kabir’s unexpected visit, I knew the right thing to do is leave. The flat was my home for a decade and it served me well. But it’s just four walls and I’m ready for more. I hadn’t thought about the mark Kabir had left on the flat until I saw him again.
Now, Patrick and I deserve to build our home.
“All right, let’s go find somewhere to build memories together,” he says, smiling up at me and my heart leaps and twirls.
“I love you, you know that?”
He shrugs and kisses my belly. “I had an inkling. I appreciate the reminder.”
“It’s always been you, you silly man.”
With a tug on his hair, I laugh and he winks. Then sits up as well, dragging the sheets over his bottom half. It doesn’t matter if this man is fully clothed or not, my body still reacts to him the same way: desperately. But given the serious look on his face, I know covering up is a good idea. “I want to talk about something too,” he tells me and once I’m looking at him, he adds, “What if I retire from professional hockey?”
My heart stops. That was not the question I expected. My silence makes him flinch and he blows out a breath.
“Why?”
He sits beside me so we’re both leaning against the headboard. After spending the most incredible day with his parents, Elias and Vera, we locked ourselves away. Some of it was spent fucking and rolling around in the sheets, the rest of the time I was asleep. I realise I’ve been sacrificing sleep for fantastic sex. No regrets, but my body and baby need the rest. So while Patrick did whatever he wanted, I snored. Now I’m wondering if during those sleeping hours he was thinking about this.
“Either I do it or they force me to do it.” He sounds small and I squeeze his hand. “I really want one more medal. But I’ll be forty and I don’t know if they’ll let that happen. The team and management haven’t said anything, but Nihal and I’ve been waiting for the email to come through for years now.”
“You really think they’d force you out because of your age?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I love the sport, don’t get me wrong, and I don’t wanna leave. But maybe I should get out while I’m still hot shit.”
“You’ll always be hot shit, Trick.”
Tilting his head back, he smiles. “You’re very biased and not wrong. Problem is, I don’t know what I’ll do if I step down.”
“What about coaching?”
“I don’t love it or hate it right now and the team is made up of some really good guys. But isn’t that cliché? To go from playing professionally to coaching?”
“I won’t pretend like I know anything about sports or the coaching world, but it would keep you close to hockey, right? And you can train future medal winners.”
He nods slowly but doesn’t say anything. For as long as I’ve known him, hockey has been his only focus. More importantly, Patrick and hockey are synonymous with each other and I don’t want him to make any decisions he might regret.
“Trick,” I say and he swallows hard before looking at me. “If it’s what you want to do, you know I’ll support you. As will your family and all our friends. What you want is most important. But you need to be absolutely sure. Don’t do it because of what you think might happen, okay?”
“You’ll still love me, right?”
“If you retire? I don’t know. I picked you for your hockey prowess. Without that, who are you?”
