Page 51 of Rebound
“I don’t want it.”
“It’s green though. Bet you’d still look good in it,” I continue like she didn’t shoot me down.
“Trick,” she sighs exasperatedly, her expression flat. “You knocked me up. You don’t have to keep flirting.”
“You accepted my terms. And it’s the only way I know how to live, Lotus.”
She mumbles under her breath, hand floating over her stomach, almost like she’s talking to our kid. Every time she does that—apologises to the baby for their dad—I know we’re going to be fucking good at this.
“Mr. and Mrs. Joseph?” a nurse calls out and I’m on my feet instantly. “Dr. Gopalan will see you now.”
Tamara huffs and takes the hand I hold out to her. “I gave them your full name, I swear.”
“Dumb traditional Indian brains,” she curses and we follow the nurse down the hall to a door marked with the doctor’s name.
As I step inside my heart trips. It’s been almost a month since I found out I’m going to be a dad and I’ve gone through every emotion imaginable. I still haven’t fully wrapped my head around our new reality. My heart is racing and my fingers tingle. It’s what happens when a panic attack starts, but before I can collapse under the weight of this moment, Tamara squeezes my hand. I exhale loudly and smile at the doctor.
“You didn’t tell me the father was an Olympian,” she says. “Congratulations, Mr. Joseph.”
“Thanks, Dr. Gopalan. She’s not big on talking about me in general, so don’t hold it against her.”
Tamara growls. “I will kick you out if you don’t behave.”
I grin and she releases my hand. Her back is straight and her eyes are clear, but her left leg is bouncing furiously. That’s how I know she’s not as calm as I thought she was. I gently grip her knee and it settles, but she’s still tightly wound. Her eyes meet mine and she nods, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. I pull my hand away and lean back in my chair.
“What are we doing today?” I ask and do my best to keep the nerves out of my voice.
“We need to run a few blood tests. This is standard for your second trimester,” Dr. Gopalan explains. “We do what’s called an AFP screening which checks for certain things like whether or not your child has Down syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. And to make sure there’s only one foetus among other things.”
I’m pretty sure I stop breathing and I can feel my eyes widen at the possibility we’re having twins. Dr. Gopalan waves her hand, almost as if to pacify us as she continues. “These are normal tests, it doesn’t necessarily mean any of these will come back positive. But it’s a chance for you to be prepared ahead of time, that’s all.”
Tamara’s hand reaches for mine and I immediately link our fingers. No matter what those results say, we’ll love our kid—or kids—unconditionally. There’s a moment of fear that we’re not equipped for this.
“We’ll also do an ultrasound to take a look at your baby,” the doctor continues and when neither of us respond, she smiles. “If I didn’t see this kind of reaction in all first time parents, I’d be a little worried. Don’t start thinking of the worst case scenario, you and your baby could be absolutely healthy.”
Tamara squeezes my hand and when I look over, she’s got tears in her eyes. I turn in my chair so I’m facing her. “Come here, Lotus.” I tug on her hand and she doesn’t fight me as she climbs into my lap, arms winding around my neck. I hold her tight as the doctor and nurse talk around us. “She’s making sure you and the baby are okay.”
She nods, sniffling loudly and I squeeze her waist, my hand smoothing over her stomach. As a fat woman, Tamara’s belly has always been soft, and it excites me to know our baby is in there somewhere. Ready to make an appearance. I appreciate her trusting me right now, that she’s allowing me to see her vulnerable and scared. I want her to know I’ll always be there for her. No matter how good or bad the situation, she’s got me for as long as she wants me.
“I’m okay,” she says to me and I nod at the nurse.
She rolls up Tamara’s sleeve and draws blood. I know for a fact my girl’s not scared of needles, but she still rests her head against mine. I brush her hair back, our eyes meeting briefly. And fuck, Nina was right to be worried about me. I’m already halfway in love with her again.
“You’re incredible,” I say softly and an unexpected blush coats her cheeks.
“I’m really glad you’re here,” she replies, her eyes confirming the sincerity of her words.
I squeeze her hip when the nurse says she’s done. I help Tamara to her feet as Dr. Gopalan smiles at us and says, “Are you ready for the ultrasound?”
We’re directed to another section of the room where Tamara’s asked to unbutton her jeans and lift up her shirt. She lies down on the bed and gives me a glimpse at her warm brown skin. I reach for her hand and she presses her fingers into mine. The doctor’s telling us what she’s doing as she squirts something on Tamara’s belly, then moves a wand around.
I’m not listening, because on the screen is a picture.
It’s unclear at first, then I see our baby and my breath catches. This is real. I blink furiously to fight back the tears, but it’s pointless. I’m hovering between absolute joy and an emotional meltdown.
“Trick?”
“It’s our baby,” I whisper and she laughs. The sound is so beautiful, I don’t think before I’m pressing my lips to hers. It’s a brief touch, but she doesn’t push me away and that’s enough.
