Page 15 of From the Ashes
My hand spreads on my belly as I take in the idea that in thirty minutes, I'm going to be really close with Carter, like physically close. A side of me heaves at the idea, the thought of his touch rising fires inside my belly, but another part is much more cautious. The last time I was in close proximity with a manhad nothing to do with seduction and everything to do with fear and survival instinct, as I remember Ben’s punches hitting me in the stomach on our kitchen floor.
How will I react tonight?
CARTER
“Hey, didn’t know we were sparring today, did I forget?” Ash says, watching me bring a bottle of water into the ring of our gym. Professional size, with a brand new floor since the last one got ripped out from Ares’ last session. We usually use our octagon to train, but since the last fight night was a week ago, we’ve already dismantled it. The club hall is pretty much an open concept with different areas: the bar at the front, the mechanics and garage on the right, and the gym on the back left with our offices upstairs. And the basement, of course. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to close any door to keep our self-defense session private, but I know most of the brothers will be at the bar or in their homes tonight, so we won’t be bothered.
“No, I’m not sparring today,” I deadpan, pushing up one of the ropes to get back down.
“Okay, so what d’ya up to?” He frowns, his short red hair all disheveled after his ride.
“I’m teaching someone self-defense,” I grunt.
“Someone?” he repeats loudly.
“Yes.”
“Wait, are you bringing a girl here? Like at the club?” His eyes widen.
“Yes.”
“Carter, I swear if you keep on with these fuck ass one-word sentences, I’m gonna lose it.” He runs a hand through his hair. “How come you haven’t told me? That’s huge.”
“Why would I have told you?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.
“Because we’re friends, you dumbass.” He steps toward me and punches my shoulder hard without making me move an inch.
Friends? We work together, we get along, I don’t hate seeing him, and I’d take a bullet for him. Is that friendship? If so, I guess we are friends.
“Her name is Lana, she’s a single mom with an invasive ex, which is why I offered to teach her self-defense,” I explain, listening to my cold as ice voice and wishing it didn’t sound like a freaking robot.
“You’re dating a mom? Noway.” He puts both of his palms on his head. Why is it an issue? Lana had a life before I met her; whether she has a kid or not doesn’t change how special she is.
“Yeah, why?”
“Has she talked to you? Like more than five minutes?”
“What are you implying? Get to the point.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, ‘cause why is he using subtext when he knows I can’t read those.
“Just, no offense, Cart, but you don’t scream stepfather material. You know, with the no emotion thing and torture skills and all that.” He winces, a weird smile lifting his lips, but his eyes aren’t following. Why is he even talking about becoming a stepfather? I know I don’t have it in me, I know I’m a piece of shit with no empathy and feelings, so yeah, I’m fucking aware that I’ll never get the happy endings with the white picket fences. I’ll take what I can get from the moments Lana’s okay to spend with me, and that’s all. There’s no hope for guys like me, I’m beyond repair, and I’m well aware of that. But it doesn’t mean I like the reminder.
“I know,” I rasp blankly, shoving away the tingle of pain throbbing in my chest and embracing the reality of it.
“Hey, I didn’t mean,” he steps toward me, patting my shoulder once, “just cause you’re a bit different doesn’t mean you can’t have a shot at it, huh?” A genuine smile spreads on his face. “You never know, she might even like your whole I’m-a-robot thing,” he chuckles, “anyway, gotta go, I’ll see you tomorrow at Mia’s. Good luck with your date, dude.” He winks at me, then leaves. I look down at my phone and notice it’s time for me to go pick her up. I’m a bit early, but I’d rather that than being late. Can’t make such a pretty and smart woman like her wait.
I mount my Harley, checking again the gear I got for her. I had bought them this morning when I thought about taking my bike to pick her up tonight. I can’t take any risk of her sliding on the concrete and losing her skin like shreds of paper if anything were to happen. After a good twenty minutes of high speed, I slow down, reaching her neighborhood. The lights are up, and I notice two silhouettes behind the sheer white curtains. I clench my jaw before looking closer and seeing that it’s a female. I sigh. Good. Must be the sitter she talked about.
Removing my helmet, I dismount my bike. Before I even reach the stairs of her porch, she comes out, closing the door rapidly. She doesn’t want her kid to see me. I understand. Protecting her son is her priority, especially if she’s not sure about who I am. My chest tightens at the sight in front of me. She’s wearing barely anything which shows off the goosebumps covering her arms. Just a small black T-shirt and high-waisted shorts in the same color. Her hair is held in a tight ponytail, displaying her goddess-like bone structure. I clench my jaw, thinking how perfectly she would fit in my arms.
“Hi,” she says, fidgeting and looking at me from head to toe.
“Hi,” I reply in a monotone. “I got you gear,” I explain, giving her the jacket, the pants, and the helmet I got under my arm.
“Oh, are we driving on this?” She points at my bike behind me.
“Yeah, is that alright for you?”
“Do I have a choice?” She chuckles. Is it a joke or is she truly asking me? Fuck, maybe I should call a taxi and come back later for my bike.
