Page 25 of From the Ashes
Dr. Parks and Carter’s first session
“So, um, despite those very unusual circumstances,” says the shrink sitting in front of me in our basement with only concrete walls and one light bulb, “I believe your…um…teammates, think I could help you with your…condition.”
A drop of sweat is falling from his forehead as he clutches his notebook like his life depends on it. The only shrink Ares and Vox found for me since he’s indebted to the club; there’s no chance he’ll ever go to the cops. Not that it’d be a big issue, but some things are better left in the dark. Ares told him he would get off the hook if he took me as a patient. I might be the only psychopath on Earth who gets to spill his guts without repercussion.
Lucky me.
“I’ve been told I’ve got some issues,” I rasp.
“Issues... Um...I see,” he stammers, squirming in his seat. “Could you, uh, tell me more about that?”
“I can’t read emotions on people's faces, I can’t understand subtext. And…”
“And?” His voice falters.
“I try to talk to women, but there’s something I miss each time. I always fuck things up, even when I try real hard.”
“What do you mean by trying real hard?”
“The men I kill here,” I point at a stain of blood next to his feet, “I take out some of their organs, blood, and sometimes hands, and then…I offer them, as presents…” I explain, my tone even, cold, unbothered. His eyes widen and he swipes a hand behind his nape. Nervousness. Just like the guy I ended here yesterday.
“You are an…enforcer, right? I believe this is the right term?” He swallows. I nod in response. “What does it feel like when you… Um…” he chokes out, swallowing hard.
“Torture?”
“Yes, torture.” He fidgets, then sits up straighter, as if kind of getting the hang of it.
“It’s calming.” Like listening to the waves or riding on my bike. “Puts my brain on pause. Like I’m in the zone.”
“O-okay, um, right, and has it always been this way?”
“What do you mean?”
“How long have you been doing this?”
“Not so long. Ares found me when I was seventeen, taught me everything about the club, the rules, the values. Then one day, his enforcer got shot, and I knew I’ve wanted to try this for a long time, so I started and never stopped ever since. It’s been four years.”
“Four years. So you started at eighteen, that’s a long time for such a young person, don’t you think?”
I shrug. “I haven’t been young for a long time.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Saw a lot of things a kid shouldn’t have. Too much, too soon.”
“I see, and would you like to talk about those things?”
“No.”
“Fair enough. Maybe another time?” He leans in, his breathing getting back to normal.
“Maybe.”
“About those, um…gifts, why do you think women don’t want them?”
“Because they’re from me.”
“Don’t you think it’s more about the…nature of the gift?”
