Page 74 of From the Ashes
“I—” Ben tries, but I cut him off.
“Goodbye, Ben.” I let Alec walk him out. Nancy shoots daggers at him while I turn my back on him. He’ll never get one more second of my attention. Once he’s gone, my shoulders lower. I was right, something significant happened today. The vibration in my pocket pulls me out of my thoughts, and I bite my lip at the name appearing on my screen. I take the call in the living room.
“Hey,” I murmur.
“Hey, sweetness,” Carter’s voice answers, warming me up instantly.
“Are you free?” I cross my fingers. It’s Saturday, and unless Mia has an event, he usually is.
“Right now?”
“Yes, right now,” I say, not apologizing for wanting to see him.
“Where are you?” he asks, and I hear the sound of keys in the background, making me smile.
“I’ll be home in three minutes,” I say, excited.
“I’m on my way.” He chuckles, and I grin like a giddy girl. I stood up for myself today, but there’s one more thing I need to overcome.
And it’s about time I take this step.
CARTER
I didn’t expect to hear the voice of an angel today but when I did, I got on my bike faster than I have ever done. Lana sounded different on the phone. Happier, unapologetically herself. I wonder what happened for her to have this switch but I’m glad it did. The door opens and she runs to me as I get off my bike, and removes my helmet, fast enough for her to take my shirt in her fist, get on her tiptoes and kiss me like I'm her oxygen. I kiss her back, without helping myself to grin a bit ‘cause damn, I missed her even if I saw her yesterday.
“Come in,” she murmurs before kissing me again. She takes my large palm in her little hand and tugs me to her home.
“You seem happy,” I comment, suddenly wondering if there’s something I’m missing. Should I have brought something? Flowers, maybe. Chocolates. A gift. Damn it. I should’ve stopped at the flower shop on the way here. Ash always says women love flowers, why was I in such a hurry to get here that I didn’t even think of it? I was so focused on seeing her, I just drove straightover like an idiot. Next time, I won’t forget. Flowers, pastries, whatever she likes. Anything that could make her smile.
She goes straight to the kitchen cupboard to take out mugs on her tiptoes, but I step forward and grab them for her.
“Thanks,” she whispers.
“Coffee?” I nod, studying my girl and enjoying being in her place. I’ve been avoiding my flat more and more lately. Feels too empty and grey in there. I’d rather be at the club. Well, I actually would prefer being here with Lana, but I can’t say that out loud. Dr. Parks did tell me to calm the fuck down, to not scare her. I mean, he said to take my time and not initiate commitment without sensing her obvious enthusiasm, his words, not mine. I remove my cut and put it on the back of the diner chair then stands in the kitchen while she pours coffee in two mugs. One with a cat licking a chocolate cake and one with “best mom in the world” printed on. Must be a gift Noah made at school. My mugs at home are all plain grey.
“Couch?” she asks and I follow her as she sits legs folded under her thighs, her little white socks peeking out from under her black jeans. I join her, my left hand instinctively resting on her knee while the other holds the cat mug.
“You’re never dressed in black,” I notice, watching her perfect silhouette under the black turtleneck and jeans. She’s beautiful nonetheless but it’s not really…her. I’m wearing my usual all black shirt outfit with jeans but it’s different, she always sees me wearing this.
“I talked to Ben this morning,” she says quietly, her mug in her hand and I wonder if that’s why she’s wearing those clothes today. Yeah, that must be why.
“How did it go?” I ask blankly although she must sense my hand freezing on her thigh.
“It was…well, things took an unexpected turn.” She rests her mug on the table and pulls her hair behind her ears.
“Did he hurt you?” I ask, my mind rushing into dark places, imagining all the things I will do to her ex once I find him. I’d keep him alive, sure. But there are other ways someone can get hurt without dying. Like sewing back the wounds after you cut through the skin. He’d heal, but he would never forget.
“No, no,” she shakes her head, “he… He threatened to take Noah away from me.” Her voice flinches, like a knife went straight into her heart. My jaw tightens, the blood under my skin sizzling with wrath. I keep my mouth shut, ‘cause she’s not done. “He said he would find people to testify against me as a bad mom, and it… It made me angry. So angry. I felt like there was a fire in my gut, that’s how mad he made me,” she explains, her little chocolate brows furrowed. I don’t move, focused on every single movement in her face. “I fought back. I told him I had proof of what he did to me back then. Photos, videos. I even showed him one because he didn’t believe me. When he saw it…his face turned white. He stared at me like I’d burned him,” she says, her tone even, calm. “I told him I had enough proof to build a case against him and that I would file a complaint if he ever tried to threaten me again.” The shock of her mentioning photos and videos of his beatings makes my heart tighten. I wish I could’ve been there back then. I wish I could’ve protected her from him. What she had to put up with...is beyond anything anyone should ever go through.
“And what did he say?” I try, carefully watching her features.
She takes a deep inhale. “At first, he said nothing. I guess he was trying to figure out how to get away with it, but…for once, he couldn’t, so he just agreed and left. Can you believe it? He agreed… It's crazy to me. I never thought…not once in a lifetime.” She shakes her head, her hand covering her mouth.
“I’m so proud of you,” I tell her, my hand reaching her face to cup her jaw. Lana has come a long way from fearing her ex to standing up to him, and I’ve been lucky enough to witness herchange. She’s a force of nature. I'm all too aware of the luck I have to call her mine.
“I’m…I’m proud of myself too.” She smiles. “It’s over, it’s really over now.” Her stunning caramel gaze turns watery. “I can finally move on from this.” This time, her pupils dilate, and she leans in. She bats her long eyelashes, and it knocks the air right out of me.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” I ask.
