Page 74 of The Marriage Deal
She was already shaking her head before I finished the sentence. "It has absolutely nothing to do with that. Except my being sober, of course. I don't think I could have dragged myself out of the house if I was drunk." She sighed, her gaze falling to the floor, when she raised her head again, her eyes shined with tears. "I know I have been a bad mother to you all. You especially. I wasn't there when you needed me. I wasn't there to defend you. I was too weak to fight him—and that's not an excuse—I should have tried. But I am here now. I want to be in your life, in a meaningful way. Not just at the edges."
My gut reaction was to shut her out. Drag her out of this place and make sure she never comes back. But the much more sentimental little boy who has always wanted this mother, was crying for her inside. He wanted her to stay. He wanted to see her try.
"What do you want exactly?"
A smile popped at the corners of her lips. "I want to be with you. For a day. Just today, I don't have to stay the night."
I nodded. She squealed like a little girl. I took a step forward and heard her follow and continued showing her the place. She was staying a day, that's it.
"It's really lovely," she said when we got back downstairs. "Very you."
Elle was anxiously waiting for us, standing in the middle of the living room, her hands flat against the sides of her jeans. A familiar suitcase was next to her. I turned to my mom.
"You said I am staying the day." Mom said. "The internet says there are some lovely hotels parents can stay in when they're visiting their kids if I can't sleep over."
"I can put this in the guest room?" Elle was asking, but it sounded more like a foregone conclusion.
There was only one guest room, which meant… Maybe there was an advantage to my mom staying here. "Fine," I said, putting on my best put-upon voice. "You can stay for the night."
Mom tapped my cheeks. "Thank you so much, darling." She strolled into the living room as Elle rolled the suitcase out and stood in front of the paused TV screen. "What were you watching? Oooh, is thatPride and Prejudice? Matthew Macfadyen is quite a snack in this one."
"I don't think I want to hear how hot you think someone is, Mom."
She frowned as she found a chair to sit on. "Please tell me I didn't raise a prude."
Elle came back and sat down next to me. She brushed my thigh, smiling. Confused, I frowned at her. She took out her phone, and a few seconds later; I received a text.
Elvy: This is good. I love that you're giving your mom a chance.
Me: Were you eavesdropping?
Elvy: This house echoes
It was a lie, and she knew it. This place had almost zero echo.
Me: Sure.
I sat back and pressed play. Elle had opened a fresh packet of popcorn and placed a coffee table in the middle with the bowl of popcorn on top. As if she knew my mother was going to stay.
32
Elvira
WHEN THE EMAIL DROPPED into everyone's inbox at nine AM, I didn't see it. I always check my emails in the morning. That's usually the first thing I do. There's usually important work I don't want to miss, and also because Levi likes to delegate and communicate via email like the tech dinosaur that he is, instead of instant messaging. Or so I thought he was until the events of that fateful day.
I came in a little late. Levi had delayed me by giving me an early morning orgasm in the shower. And then his mother had further delayed us by making a surprise breakfast for us. Instead of a simple toast, eggs and bacon, maybe some pancakes, she had gone all out and prepared a full English breakfast minus the black pudding, thank god, but including hash browns and biscuits or scones as she kept calling them.
I couldn't exactly say no after she had put so much effort and had clearly gotten up early to prepare it. Levi had wanted to rush out, but I pulled him back and drew out a chair next to mine at the breakfast table. The joy on Rebecca's face made the otherwise inedible breakfast enjoyable. It was obvious she rarely could be found in the kitchen. Or if she's ever cooked at all, it was at least fewer than ten times. But the love she had poured into this breakfast was clear, even though the toast was dry and charred and the bacon was a little too hard to chew. I thought Levi would spit it out at one point, but he powered throughand ate everything on his plate. It was so heartwarming to see mother and son act like an actual parent and child that I almost wanted to cry.
So by the time I got to work, my belly was full of badly cooked breakfast, but I was too happy to care about work first thing in the morning. Instead of my usual routine, I opened the project I had been working on last week, decoding some of the Johnson letters. And it wasn't until Jess sent me a text that I realized what was going on.
Jess: Please tell me you did this.
Me: ???
Jess: The email!
Me: You're going to have to be more specific.
