Page 129 of A Heart So Haunted
I held my tongue. “Mom, I paid for you to have a room fordays.”
She scoffed. Started to make her way back to her old Neon. She popped the passenger side and started rummaging through it.
“Why aren’t you there?” I dared a single step closer. The inside of her car was ravaged with trash, used Styrofoam cups and piles of dirty—assumed—laundry. Between the back windshield and upholstered speaker set, a sliver of silver glinted.
My tongue went dry.
The spoon’s bottom was burnt in the middle. She wasn’t just drinking. She was using.
“I’myour mother, Landry. That’s not how this works.” Her voice was muffled.
I caught Emma’s eye and mouthed,Call the police.
She nodded and slipped back inside. Her shadow remained in the foyer, her eyes peeking every few seconds through the stained-glass overhangs.
Hadrian’s hand landed on my shoulder. “Do you need me to—”
“—serves them right, ungrateful sons of—” Mom snarled under her breath. She hauled a red canister from the passenger seat. Liquid sloshed out the bent, dingy spout.
“Hey!” Sayer pushed Hadrian and I aside. “Drop that!”
Like she was a disobedient dog. She only huffed.
“Mom, no. Stop.” I wrenched away from Hadrian, but he grabbed my arm at the last second. Sayer tried to take the can from her, but the spout was already unplugged. She swung it at him. Gasoline sprayed him from shirt to shoes—and the porch.
“Mom!” I shrieked. “Stop! Emma’s calling the police—you can’t—”
“Shoulda done it while you were at that stupid funeral!” she howled. Her eyes were blotchy, her skin peppered with red marks. Sayer grabbed the can just as she yanked the nozzle out of the top completely. Gasoline poured over the porch, the bushes, both my mother and Sayer. He ripped the can away and tossed it in my direction. Before I reached it, Hadrian scooped the canister up and tossed it far on the other side of the driveway.
“Nothing but a bunch of spoiled brats!” she shrieked as Sayer caught her by the waist. He hauled her up the front porch, careful to keep her away from the puddle of gasoline.
“Mom, stop it,” I bit. My teeth ground together until dust was sure to fall out of my mouth. The fight, ever so little, seeped from my body. Until I stood at the foot of the steps and she struggled against Sayer, her hair sticking up at all angles.
I looked at the tracks over her forearm. The blown veins that looked like little spiderwebs under the skin. Again. Just like Dad had said.
She has to want to help herself.
“Get inside, please,” Hadrian whispered against my hair. “I can help Sayer with her.”
I shook my head. His words bounced off my skin, fell onto the ground, melded with the gasoline. One wrong light, and we’d all go up in flames.
“I talked to Dad,” I said, broken. I tried to grab her hands, but she swung at me.
“Of course you did,” she spat, all venom. “He called me. You wanna know what he told me about his little girl?”
I braced myself.
“He said to leave you alone, that I doing nothing but ruining your chances. You poor, deprived little thing.” She stopped struggling for a moment. “You get itall. He threatened me with lawyers, he threatened me with money, with a treatment program—all of it! Are youhappynow? You got my sister, my husband, the house! Did you get everything you wanted? Can’t havejustVince keeping tabs on you through Cadence. You’ve gotta have him wrapped around every finger you’ve got!”
I reeled at her words. Dad had been keeping tabs on me through Aunt Cadence? Since when? For how long?
A hole, bottomless and gaping, yawned open at the center of my heart. Not an ounce of fight reared inside of me. I was done fighting with her. I couldn’t do this anymore. The only person it was hurting, at the end of the day, was myself.
“No, Mom,” I whispered. “Because the only thing I wanted as a child was you. And I accepted I’ll never get that a long, long time ago.”
She stilled. Stared at me. Her watering eyes trembled; for a split second, I thought she might speak. As if Sayer felt her relax, he relaxed, too—and then she lunged.
She wrenched herself from Sayer’s arms. She elbowed him in the neck and pulled a lighter out of her pocket. Sayer bent forward, coughing; Emma started shouting from inside the house. Panicked, I raced after her.
