Page 16 of Addicted to the Bad Boy
Mom shakes her head. “No—well, yes. That too. But she always said that love can take root in the darkest of places, but with a little light, if it’s real, it will grow into something precious.”
It’s quaint, and a little cliché, but for some reason, it actually strikes a chord with me, and I feel a pang in my chest like I’m missing out on something.
Mom stands and tenderly places the locket around my neck, clasping it against my nape. My eyes begin to sting. I don’t deserve such a gift. Not for a wedding built on familial blackmail.
Maybe if this was given to me to celebrate my engagement to Finn…
“Mom, I can’t—” I start to say, but she cuts me off immediately.
“Mira, I know this might not be the wedding you…wanted.” Her voice is low and soft. “And your heart may be in another place…”
My eyes snap to hers.
Does she know? How could she?
“What do you mean, Mom?”
Her lips twist into a knowing smile. “You think I don’t know my own daughter?” she asks. “Ever since you were born, you were filled with light, excitement, and enthusiasm for the world. If you were truly in love with Tyler, you wouldn’t look at me like the world was ending every time I bring up the wedding.”
My heart sinks. I have to look away.
This whole time I thought I was hiding my fear from her. Putting on a good show of being a good, happy, perfect daughter. I should have known she’d see right through me. God, if I’m feeling this bad about the wedding, I can’t imagine how awful she feels.
“I…I don’t have a choice,” I whisper, regretting it immediately. I shouldn’t put this on her. Ican’t. She has plenty of other things to worry about right now.
But with that same motherly care she’s always given me, she reaches up and cups my cheek. The skin of her hand is more dry, more wrinkled, but the tenderness is still there. “You always have a choice, dear. Even if it’s a tough one. Even if it costs you.”
I shake my head, biting the inside of my lip. I can’t cry. Not now. “I only want you to get better, Mom.”
Her eyes shine as she reaches up and brushes away her tears with the back of her hand. “You can’t sacrifice your life to save mine, honey. That’s not how it works.”
Does she know Dad’s blackmailing me? How could she?
“Mom, if I don’t marry Tyler—”
“Your father will stop treating me,” she interrupts, her voice knowing as a weary smile fills her lips. “He doesn’t have control over me like that, Mira. No one does. And it’s not your job to live for your mother. You have to live for yourself.”
I’m quivering now. What a revelation. I thought today would just be dresses and some good old-fashioned mom-and-daughter time.
I can’t stop myself now. The tears fall, and they fall fast. I reach for my shirt and press it to my eyes to soak up the moisture. This isn’t how things are supposed to go. I can’t have my mom worrying about me like this. She needs to focus on herself. Her life literally hangs in the balance. And if I lose her…I don’t know what I’ll do.
“Don’t worry, Mom.” I smile, taking a deep breath. “Tyler and I will be a good match. He’s smart and successful. He’ll take good care of me.”
My mom takes a deep breath, her eyes fixed on mine. Does she know what I’m doing? Can she tell that I’m lying? If she can, she doesn’t show it. In fact, her whole body relaxes, and she slowly nods.
“If you say so, honey. If you say so.”
Great, now I’m lying to my mom. Look what this engagement is doing to my family. “So what do you think?” I ask. “Is this dress the one? Or should we try another?”
Mom laughs and throws a happy hand in the air. “Why not try a couple more? We have plenty of time, right?!”
I smile as she hands me another dress, trying not to think of the precipice growing beneath our feet.
Yeah, plenty of time…
7
FINN
