Page 87 of The Thing About My Secret Billionaire
“Come on, Doris.” My voice echoes inside my hood. Can she even hear me? “Good girl. Come on.”
But she just stares. And doesn’t move.
Concerned that if I get any closer she might start going in the opposite direction, I start to trot backward, keeping my eyes on her, encouraging her to follow. “Inside. Out of the rain. This is such a bad decision, Doris. You need to get dry. Come oooo?—”
My feet fly out from under me, sending me slapping onto my back. I didn’t think it was possibleto be wetter or colder, but the sludge seeping through my pants proves me wrong.
This is fucking awful. Truly fucking awful. I am never leaving the city again. Skinner can have the land. I don’t care if I never get him back for what he did to my folks. I need to get dry and warm and never see another fucking donkey for as long as I live. Which might only be a few more minutes since it feels like hypothermia is setting in.
But I can’t give up. I can’t give up for Frankie’s sake or the donkeys’.
I scrabble to my feet, but it’s like trying to stand on ice in slippers, and I skid again, ending up in a weird half-crouched position.
“Fuck me. Fucking fuck me,” I yell.
Then Doris’s feet come into view.
“Thank Christ.”
As I try to push myself upright so I can encourage her toward the shelter, she shuffles sideways toward me.
“Oh, no. No, Doris. You are not rubbing your belly on my head right now. That is not happening. This is not the time for that.”
Finally I get to my feet. “This is not the time for anything but going inside and getting dry and warm.”
But how can I be pissed off with this face? With these giant eyes that are staring into mine as rivulets of rain run between them.
I rub her broad forehead like I’ve seen Frankie do. “Come on, girl. Let’s get inside.”
And, thank whoever the patron saint of donkeys is, with me holding onto her mane, she walks by my side as we head back to the stable. It would be nice if it was a lot quicker than this, but I’m now so wet it doesn’t even matter anymore.
When we finally get inside, I slide the stable door closed behind us, and the sound of the rain deadens slightly.
“All right.” I lower my hood and look around. “There should be ten of you.”
Three at the back are lying down. Two are nuzzling each other off to the left. One is having a drink. Dave and a friend are nibbling hay. Waldo seems to be staring out of a window, probably wondering where the hell Frankie is. And Doris is still here right next to me.
Halle-fucking-lujah. That’s ten.
I let out possibly the biggest exhale of my life.
Mission a-fucking-complished.
I head straight to the rear of the stable where the pile of donated old blankets is kept.
I just need to get some draped over the three soaking-wet fools to dry them off a bit and keep them warm, run over to the miniatures and lock them in, then I can go back to the house, strip off these dripping-wet, mud-soaked clothes and lie in a steaming hot bath with a beer in my hand for about the next three hours. By which time Frankie should be back and maybe I can tempt her to join me.
Another rumble of thunder sets off a ripple of brays around me as I do the rounds, draping blankets over Dave and Waldo before making my way to Doris, who’s still just inside the door.
“Here you go.” I throw a large fleece with an underwater scene of fish printed on it—how appropriate—over her back, and give it a rub to try to soak up as much of the rain as I can.
“I’ll come back and switch it for another dry one in a bit.” I pat her side. “Thank God I got youall in. Frankie would never let me kiss her again if one of you got pneumonia or something.”
This is not a moment when my brain should be prioritizing thoughts of kissing Frankie. Yet it’s pretty much all I think about all the time. And now the image of her naked breasts passes across my mind—which is not a distraction that I need right now.
With a shudder, I put my hood back up. “Let’s hope the little guys aren’t as much trouble as you all.”
When I slide the door open, I’m faced with the most ridiculous weather I’ve ever seen in my life.
