Page 77 of The Shape of Your Heart
‘You know Nathan?’
‘We met when Robin and I got together.’
Callie shakes her head. ‘This is crazy.’ Tears stream down her face as she hurries towards the door. ‘Sorry, I don’t get any of this. I have to get out of here.’
‘Callie,’ I call after her. When she doesn’t respond, I run after her, catching her up as she slams her car door shut. ‘Please. Let’s talk about this another time.’
‘Max was Liam’s best man.’ Callie’s voice is shaking. ‘But I suppose you already know that.’
‘I didn’t.’ As shock washes over me for the second time, my hands close over the top of the window. ‘Honestly. It’s the first I’ve heard of it.’
‘You’re not expecting me to believe you didn’t know that Max had been in a major car accident? One that killed his best friend? You must have known. He’s going out with your sister, for fuck’s sake. You tried to trick me,’ she sobs, starting her car.
‘I didn’t. Look, you’re in no fit state to drive,’ I say quickly. ‘Come back inside. I’ll ask them to leave.’
She doesn’t reply. Putting her car into gear, she tries to drive away, but it stalls. The second time, she puts her foot down on the accelerator, sending up another spray of gravel. I step back, with no choice but to watch her drive away.
* * *
‘Max just told me about Callie.’ Robin’s face is anxious when I go back inside.
‘You don’t know the half of it.’ I’m still struggling to take in what’s just happened. Sitting down, I feel exhausted. ‘This is such a mess.’ I rest my head in my hands.
Robin comes and sits next to me. ‘What’s happened exactly?’
Sitting up, I sigh. ‘After I had the heart transplant, a woman from a support group came to see me. She left all this info. One of the brochures was about getting in touch with the family of the donor. To start with, I didn’t do anything about it. To be honest, I was still getting to grips with the fact that someone else’s heart was keeping me alive. But a few weeks ago, I wrote a letter. I had no idea who the donor was – personal details are kept confidential. I gave the letter to the support group to forward on to the family. The family turned out to be Callie…’ I still can’t believe it. ‘She must have had this letter for a while.’
‘But how did she know it was you?’ Robin frowns. ‘I mean, you’ve just said there’s no way she could have linked the letter to you.’
‘I signed my first name. But when Callie’s father was ill, I wrote her a card. She compared the signatures,’ I say miserably.
‘Oh, Nathan.’ Robin sounds sympathetic. ‘She’ll work it out. Give her a little time to take it in. It’s a lot to process. It isn’t surprising she was so upset.’ She pauses. ‘Are you OK?’
‘I’m not sure.’ I, too, need time to process this – and I’m worried that this will be the end of any hopes I have of being with Callie. I turn to Max. ‘I had no idea your mate died in the crash. I’m so sorry.’
‘He was a good guy.’ Max’s voice wavers. ‘I’ve felt so guilty for surviving when he didn’t… I know it doesn’t change anything, but it takes some getting your head around. It’s why I prefer not to talk about it.’
‘While I’m only alive because of his heart.’ I feel uncomfortable knowing who the donor was.
‘It might just as easily have been someone else.’ Robin tries to be matter-of-fact.
But it isn’t that simple. ‘Heart transplants aren’t common. The heart has to be a match… then there’s the timing. It isn’t like I was local, either. I was in hospital in London. When you add it all together, it’s some coincidence.’
* * *
But that isn’t all that seems to be coincidental. After Robin and Max leave, I’m deep in thought. Callie was right. Since my heart transplant, my life has changed and so have I – in ways I would never have expected.
Getting my laptop, I sit on the sofa. I start to search for heart transplant patients and personality changes. And stumble across the unimaginable. Needing to talk to someone, I call Robin.
‘Have you heard of cellular memory?’
‘Can’t say I have. Go on, tell me.’
‘It’s a theory that memories can be stored in the cells of the donated organ. It particularly applies to hearts. There can be changes in your preferences – and personality.’ I pause. ‘There can be memories, too.’ I’m thinking about the sea pictures.
‘You think that’s happening to you?’ She sounds alarmed.
‘I don’t know.’ I’m at a loss. ‘But you’ve said enough times how weird it is that I’d buy a house in the country and get into gardening. I know for a fact Liam did both those things.’
