Page 90 of The Shape of Your Heart
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The following morning, when I check out of the hostel, there are about half a dozen similarly attired walkers in multi-pocketed trousers and walking boots. Hanging back, I let them pace on ahead, wanting to quietly savour every moment.
After leaving the old town, the route I’ve chosen hugs the coast. It’s a beautiful morning, the fields a soft green, the sea glinting in the sunlight. As I walk, I fall in love with the Spanish countryside. Spring has already arrived here and the grass is speckled with wild flowers.
Away from the familiar, everything’s clearer somehow. Thoughts of Liam fill my head, but instead of pain, I feel an aching kind of yearning.
I’m not the same person any more, though, and out here, alone, at last I’m honest with myself. Yes, I’ve lost the love of my life, the man I built my future around. But as I turn on to the footpath, already it’s becoming clearer: even without him, there’s still a whole lot of life to live.
That evening I stop at the next hostel Sasha and I booked. Set above a beach, the view is glorious, of green hills sloping down towards pale sand and dark blue sea. Sipping a beer I bought on the way here, I sit on the grass and stretch out my aching legs for a moment.
‘Mind if I join you?’
Turning around, I take in the guy standing there. In walking boots and jeans, he’s clearly another hiker. ‘Hi. Sure.’
Slipping off his rucksack, he sits on the grass beside me. ‘I had the same idea.’ He opens the bottle of beer he’s holding. ‘You’re doing the Camino?’ He has a slight American accent.
I nod. ‘The northern route.’
He grins. ‘Your first?’
‘People do this more than once?’ Slightly shocked, I study him.
‘It’s kind of addictive,’ he says. ‘This is only my second, though. I’m Ryan, by the way.’
I take the hand he’s holding out. ‘Nice to meet you. I’m Callie.’
‘Beautiful, isn’t it?’ Leaning back on his elbows, he gazes towards the sea. ‘So what brings you here? Or are you just a fellow adventurer?’
‘My fiancé and I were going to do this on our honeymoon. He died.’ As I explain, my voice remains steady.
‘Sorry to hear that.’ He sounds sympathetic. ‘Must be tough.’
‘It was, to start with. Anyway, my sister was going to come with me.’ I tell him about Sasha breaking her ankle. ‘It seems I’m destined to do this alone, so I’m looking on it as a personal challenge. Kind of closure with the past.’ I shrug.
‘Tell me about it,’ he says feelingly. ‘My story’s not as sad as yours, but the first time I did this Camino I was with my girlfriend. I thought we were good. I was even going to ask her to marry me – until about a month ago, when she dumped me for my best friend. And I had no idea.’
‘That’s shit.’ I shake my head. ‘She clearly wasn’t the one.’
He frowns slightly, before a look of amusement crosses his face. ‘You know what? You’re absolutely right – except everyone at home has been sad for me, or avoided the subject altogether. Not one of them has said it like it is.’
‘I’m kind of known for doing that,’ I say quietly. ‘Sorry.’
‘No, it’s good. Thank you,’ he says. ‘So, was it the same for you? When your fiancé died?’
‘Not really.’ Thinking of my sisters, I feel emotional all of a sudden. ‘My family are wonderful. I’m not sure they’ll get why I’m doing this alone, but it feels like a defining moment.’ I frown. ‘I’ve been thinking for a while I need something more in my life. I’m hoping doing the Camino will help me work that out – amongst other things.’
‘Sounds like a plan.’ He delves into his rucksack for two more beers. ‘On me.’ He passes me one.
‘Thanks.’ I open it. ‘So where are you headed tomorrow?’
‘I’m thinking Deba.’ He glances at my boots. ‘You probably don’t want to overdo it until your feet get used to it.’
‘I’ll be OK. These boots have been walking the Cornish coast path,’ I tell him. ‘Deba’s next on my list, too.’ After spending the last couple of days alone, I realise company wouldn’t be so bad. ‘Should we walk together?’
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The next morning, we stop off for breakfast at a café on one of the beaches. After coffee and pastries, we set off.
