Page 100 of The Shape of Your Heart
Emily interrupts. ‘I know, it’s none of my business.’
I look at her. ‘Are you going to see your parents?’
‘Trying to get rid of me?’ She sounds more like the old Emily again.
But I’ve been thinking. ‘Actually, before you go, maybe there’s something you can do for me… Your uncle works for Cornwall Council, doesn’t he?’
‘He’s a councillor, yes.’ She frowns. ‘Why?’
As I tell her about my idea for using the campsite for childcare, she surprises me. ‘It’s a really good idea. When I’ve seen my parents, I’ll go and talk to him.’
‘That would be great.’ I’m taken aback. It’s unlike Emily to put herself out for other people. ‘And good luck. Remember what I said.’
‘Got it.’ Rolling her eyes, she walks to her car.
As she drives away, a feeling of relief settles over me. When life is suddenly so busy, I’m glad to have the house to myself for a while. Sitting back, I gaze across the garden, thinking about Callie for a moment. I wonder whether the walk is helping her order her thoughts; if she’s met anyone else along the way. If not, when she comes back… I imagine asking her out to dinner. But I have no idea what’s going through her mind, though knowing Callie’s capacity for outspokenness, I guess I’ll find out soon enough.
37
CALLIE
I’ve loved every part of this walk, but I fall headlong in love with Galicia’s windswept beauty, its verdant hills, quiet lakes and fairy-tale waterfalls. I’ve never seen so many shades of blue and green, or felt such magic in a place.
‘I have to come back here,’ I say to Josefine.
‘Come with the guy,’ she says promptly. ‘If he loves it as much as you, it will be a sign.’
It’s also the slowest part of the walk as I savour every footstep, stopping to photograph flowers or butterflies, collecting more pebbles to take home with me.
‘You are mad,’ Josefine says more than once. ‘All that extra weight.’
‘I don’t mind.’ I tell her about my garden and the last empty section of flower bed. ‘Planting it after this walk is my way of finding closure.’
‘Then what?’ she asks. ‘I’ve been asking myself the same thing. For me, I think wallowing in grief has been easier than moving on…’ Her voice wavers as she stops to wipe away a tear.
I’m astonished – yet at the same time, I’m not, because she’s lost the woman she loved. But it’s the first visible sign of emotion she’s shown. ‘Hey,’ I say gently. ‘You are doing so great, you know.’
Looking up, she blinks away tears as she tries to smile. ‘Thank you, but I’m not so sure. Sometimes, I think I am this ridiculous mess of a human being who is running away from her pain, hiding her sorrow in walking hundreds of kilometres… Pretending I’m Josefine the brave adventurer, when underneath, I’m like everyone else. Muddling through this life, searching for happiness.’ She blows her nose noisily. ‘Fuck. What self-indulgent nonsense. What is wrong with me?’ she demands.
‘Nothing at all,’ I smile, linking my arm through hers.
She looks outraged. ‘Why are you smiling when I am telling you how shit I am?’
‘You are so not.’ I pause. ‘You’re just so wonderfully human sometimes.’
The last night we stop in a small village just ten kilometres from Santiago de Compostela. Set amongst mostly derelict houses, the hostel is basic and functional, the mattresses thin, but it will for ever have a place in my heart as our final stop along this journey we’ve made.
Inland from the coast, our final cold-water swim is in one of the waterfalls Galicia is known for.
‘It’s freezing!’ After jumping in and coming up for air, my teeth are chattering.
‘You feel alive, no?’ Beside me, Josefine’s cheeks are pink as she treads water.
‘So alive!’ Getting out, I climb one of the rocks, shrieking loudly, the sound echoing as I jump in again. The water is crystal clear, the sound of its flow the sweetest of music. It’s an experience I wouldn’t have missed for anything.
It seems impossible to imagine that by this time tomorrow, our walk will be over. Josefine and I have a last simple meal. Then as we watch the sunset, we clink our beer bottles together.
‘I wish this wasn’t coming to an end.’ My body feels stronger, while my mind is clear, more focussed than it’s ever been.
