Page 20 of The Shape of Your Heart
‘They were good, actually.’ He pauses. ‘Can I offer you a cold drink? Or a sandwich?’
I hesitate for a moment. ‘I’d love a cold drink.’
He smiles. ‘D’you want to come in?’
In his kitchen, I wash my hands before taking the glass he passes me. ‘So how are you settling in?’
‘Really well. It’s kind of odd.’ He looks nonplussed for a moment. ‘I needed to make some changes in my life. Buying this house feels like part of that.’
‘Oh?’ I wonder what he’s getting at. ‘Did you break up with someone?’
He looks surprised. ‘Not exactly.’ He frowns. ‘Or maybe I did.’ His face clears. ‘I suppose I broke away from who I was back then – and a way of life that wasn’t good for me. But it isn’t as easy as it sounds.’
‘Change isn’t.’ As I know only too well, especially when it’s change that’s foisted on you. ‘Doesn’t mean it can’t be a good thing, though.’ I pause, wondering what made him reassess everything. ‘So what was so bad about your old life?’
‘Where to start.’ He shakes his head. ‘I suppose it was about always working harder and faster, always with my eye on the next big deal… It’s kind of addictive, especially when you’re surrounded by people who’re exactly the same.’
‘I get it,’ I say quietly. ‘My fiancé walked away from a job in the City. He decided he wanted a much simpler life.’
‘That’s what I’m seeking – well, at least, more of a balance, rather than a life that revolves around work.’
‘You’re in a good place for that.’ I glance outside. ‘Gardens are the perfect place to just sit.’ I shrug. ‘And be.’
‘Just sitting is something I’m not very good at,’ he says ruefully.
‘It takes practice.’ Finishing my drink, I put my glass on the table. ‘Do you have a moment? Only I thought maybe we could go through some ideas for your garden.’
‘Sure.’ He puts his glass down. ‘Lead the way.’
Going outside on to the terrace, I stand there for a moment. ‘I suppose to start with, if I were you, I’d want to think about the view – not that it isn’t already lovely,’ I add hastily. ‘But with all this space, you might want to think about letting areas of the grass grow long. It would be great for insects and you could still mow paths through it.’
He nods slowly. ‘I like that.’
‘OK.’ Getting into my stride, I take the steps down on to the grass. ‘In that case, you might want to think about where those paths are going to take you. To your vegetable garden, for example. Or maybe to a shady spot under a tree. There are so many places out here that would be lovely to just sit, or maybe read – if that’s your thing.’
‘I haven’t read a book in months,’ he says.
‘Maybe you should,’ I say mock-sternly. ‘If you’re serious about slowing your life down a bit. You could buy a book on gardening.’
‘I like the idea of having a table and chairs somewhere out here. I mean, I know I have the terrace…’ He tails off.
I nod. ‘How about over there?’ I point towards a gravelled area outside an old outbuilding. ‘We could plant things like verbena bonariensis and asters and tall grasses.’
He looks baffled. ‘I wouldn’t know where to start.’
‘They’re all tall,’ I tell him. ‘And quite delicate. Imagine an ethereal kind of screen…’ I glance at him, wondering if he gets it.
‘Honestly? It sounds great, but I’m happy to leave it to you.’ He pauses. ‘Can I offer you some lunch?’
‘No thanks, I’m going to head off. I may come back tomorrow – or the next day.’ Not wanting to feel under any pressure, I’m intentionally non-committal.
‘Whatever works for you. I’m just grateful that you’re here at all.’
I start gathering my stuff. ‘No worries.’
* * *
Back at home, after a shower and a slice of last night’s pizza, I feel vaguely more human. But I feel something else, too. Distracted, I think the word is. Less focussed on my own little world for having something new to think about.
