Page 30 of The Shape of Your Heart
‘One down, three to go.’ Talking about the flower beds, I nod towards the one in question.
He glances at it quickly. ‘That’s great.’
Given the amount of work it’s taken, it isn’t the response I was hoping for. Sitting back on my heels, I look at him. ‘Are you OK?’
‘I’m not sure.’ He’s frowning slightly. ‘You know the land I was telling you about? The sale’s gone through.’
My response is guarded. ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’
‘It would have been – but one of my investors has pulled out.’
‘Oh. So what happens now?’
‘I either find someone else, or it’s back to the drawing board and I’ll have to think of something else to do with it.’
Which in my opinion would be no bad thing – but obviously he has to make some money out of it. ‘You’ll think of something.’
He looks distracted. ‘I’ll have to. Either that, or I’ll sell it.’
I pass him the fork, nodding towards part of the flower bed. ‘This bit over here needs digging next.’ But I’m curious to know more about the land. ‘Where is the plot, exactly?’
Getting out his phone, he brings up a local map. ‘Here.’ He passes it to me.
I study it. ‘It’s an amazing location, isn’t it?’ Close to the river and the cycle path, it’s a little north of Wadebridge.
‘It really is. Perfect for exclusive eco-homes.’
‘Have you thought about a campsite? I mean a quiet, exclusive sort of place, with fixed tents.’ As he starts to dig, my mind is whirring. ‘That way, you could keep a lot of it wild – or plant as much as you can afford to – prairie-style with all these different grasses, with all these paths running through it…’ Ideas were flooding into my head.
‘Like you suggested for here?’ He looks interested.
‘Exactly. And you could have a café or restaurant – an eco- and plant-based one. More and more people are up for cutting back on meat. I really think you’d find there’d be a market for one. You could collect water and put up solar panels. And your philosophy could be how little damage you cause to the environment. I think people would really like that.’
As I’m speaking, I watch a smile flicker across his lips. ‘You’ve got it all worked out, haven’t you?’
‘Honestly? It just came to me as I was talking.’ I look at him. ‘But I can imagine it – and it could work, couldn’t it?’
He looks uncertain. ‘I’m not sure I’m going to make much money out of a campsite.’
‘But if the restaurant was a success, that would bring people in. You could employ local people, and you could host weddings. There are loads of people who like the idea of celebrating sustainably. It would be more profitable, too.’
But as he digs into a compacted piece of earth, Nathan doesn’t look convinced.
* * *
That afternoon, I drive to Wadebridge to see Liam’s mother. It would have been his birthday tomorrow and I know she’ll be thinking of him as much as I am. On impulse, I take the long way around to look at the land Nathan’s bought, hoping that seeing it for myself might trigger more ideas. Turning off the main road, I follow a narrow twisting lane for a mile or so, passing a farm and a handful of houses, until I reach a gate on my right into a field.
Pulling into the gateway, I get out. Standing there for a moment, I can see why Nathan decided to buy it. It’s another of those magical places where the only sounds are the breeze, the insects and birds. Climbing over the gate, I start walking.
The site is huge, gloriously wild and peaceful. So much so, it surprises me that Nathan thinks he can get planning permission for housing here – though as I look around, noticing the occasional glimpse of roof obscured by trees, it’s obvious other people have. And he clearly knows what he’s doing.
Maybe eco-homes could sit at one with nature, but the process of building them would devastate the wonderful flowers and wild life here. Whereas camping… Closing my eyes for a moment, I imagine lying out here under a dark sky, gazing at myriad stars.
As I listen to the birds, the breeze caresses my skin and a strange feeling comes over me. With the sky above me, the grasses and wild flowers surrounding me, far from everything I know, I feel connected in a way that’s been missing since before Liam died.
‘Liam?’ I whisper. But as I say his name, I know whatever I’m feeling isn’t about him. It’s about me. Holding out my arms, I start slowly spinning around, lost in the moment, in this beautiful, magical place, feeling a long lost part of me deep inside slowly stir back to life again.
* * *
