Page 46 of The Shape of Your Heart
Rita goes on. ‘There’s another one I like to think of as slightly more optimistic.’
I nod. ‘Optimistic is good.’
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
‘That’s from Epictetus’
I’m quiet, thinking. ‘Quite wise, weren’t they?’
‘It’s what I love about them.’ Rita’s eyes light up. ‘The Greek philosophers knew so much. And it’s still relevant. They understood how it’s our own toxic beliefs that cause us to suffer, but also that we have the power to change them.’ She sounds more positive. ‘So I have to change my thoughts – and I have to look forward.’
But she’s missing something. ‘Sometimes I think we dwell too much on the future. I mean, what happens is often completely unexpected.’
‘Go on.’ Rita listens intently.
‘Well, there isn’t a lot of point in living in the past. It’s been and gone. You can’t get it back.’ I pause, frowning slightly. ‘And we both know I’m not much good at planning.’ Suddenly it comes to me. ‘Maybe what we all should do a little bit more of is livenow, in the moment.’
18
NATHAN
On Monday morning, I get up to find Callie’s car parked outside. Through the kitchen window, I watch her work, focussed and methodical, oblivious to everything else. Making her a cup of tea, I take it out to her.
‘Hi.’ Her eyes light up. ‘Is this for me?’ She takes the mug. ‘Thanks.’
‘How was your weekend?’
‘It was good. I went to a Graveyard Groupies meeting – and two of my sisters came over. In fact, Rita’s only just left – she stayed last night. My mother…’ Frowning, she shakes her head. ‘It’s not worth explaining. But my father’s coming home today.’
‘Graveyard Groupies? Sounds gothic.’ I wonder what she isn’t saying about her mother. ‘But that’s really great news about your father.’
‘It is. We’ve all been so worried. Oh – and the Graveyard Groupies… we’re just a few women who have lost someone. I know it sounds morbid but it wasn’t. It was nice, actually. Some of them have really been through it.’ She changes the subject. ‘Have you got any further with your plans for your land?’
‘Kind of. But I’ve been having a bit of a rethink – largely thanks to you.’
‘Oh.’ She looks anxious. ‘Is that a good thing?’
‘I think so – good for my conscience, at least. I’m quite sold on this campsite idea. The next stage is planning.’ I hesitate. ‘I have a couple of ideas I’m hoping will work for the local community, too.’ I pause again. ‘But you do know, don’t you, that if I’m going to do this, I’ll need your help.’
She looks surprised. ‘I’ll help with the planting – if you like.’
‘Not just that.’ I look at her. ‘I was going to ask you to help me list all the eco-credentials that the site would have – including a café. And this time, I want to pay you.’
She’s silent for a moment before she replies. ‘OK.’
Having prepared myself for her reluctance, her answer takes me by surprise. ‘You’re sure? I mean, that’s great. I just wasn’t sure you’d want the commitment.’
She smiles. ‘Someone needs to keep you – I mean the project – on track. It may as well be me. You might regret it, though. I am a purist – and you should probably know there’s an obsessive streak in my family.’
I study her closely. In the days since I’ve last seen her, something seems to have changed. She seems lighter, more free.
‘Thanks for the tea.’ She passes the mug back. ‘I thought I’d start pulling up the grass that’s grown over the brickwork – under the tree.’
‘Before you do, could we make some notes about eco-credentials?’
‘Sure.’ Pulling off her gardening gloves, she walks beside me towards the house.
We sit at the kitchen table. ‘I was thinking with the café,’ I say, ‘about it being zero plastic. I know it’s a commitment, but it would prove it’s possible. I want to keep chickens there and grow vegetables – there’s more than enough room.’
