Page 6 of The Shape of Your Heart
‘You’re outvoted,’ Alice says quietly. ‘You may as well give in gracefully.’
‘I don’t have anywhere for you all to sleep.’ It’s the first thing that comes into my head.
‘You have two double beds,’ Rita reminds me. ‘We can share.’
‘But that means I have to go shopping. I don’t have time.’
‘I’ve already done an online shop,’ Alice says calmly. ‘It’s being delivered on Friday.’
Fast running out of objections, I play my trump card. ‘I may not be here.’
Sasha looks outraged. ‘Where else are you going to be?’
I sleep fitfully that night, as I can’t help thinking back to this time last year. It isn’t a day I want to mark, but it doesn’t matter what day it is, really. Memories of Liam are omnipresent. Picking up the photo I keep beside the bed, I gaze at the familiar eyes. Liam knew me better than I did. But I know what he would say.They’re your sisters, babe. They love you. They should be here.
4
NATHAN
Having always gone for high spec, high tech, when I first see this house, I’m not sure about it, yet I have this feeling in my bones that it’s the one. It feels a little like falling in love – albeit slowly; and with old, irregularly shaped bricks and ancient timbers instead of a gorgeous woman, but it passed the tried and tested heartbeat test.
‘It’s not at all my style,’ I say to Rena, the estate agent, aware of my heart beating faster.
‘I’ve shown you three you said were exactly your style, but you didn’t like any of them,’ she reminds me.
‘I know.’ They’d been the kind of properties I’d lived in before – with clean lines, polished concrete, light white spaces, an area of decking instead of a garden. When this place is the antithesis of all that, I don’t understand, either.
Curious, as I go inside, I notice the slate floors and a big old wood burner, but the kitchen is up to the minute, the walls painted in gentle colours. Upstairs are two bedrooms with floors that can only be described as undulating, while the bathroom is brand new with a huge shower and a floor-to-ceiling heated towel rail. But it’s the far-reaching views I can’t stop looking at.
I find myself liking this house more and more. Going outside, I take in a different view, this time of the sea. There’s a long garden, that I’d probably end up concreting over; but it’s the terrace that clinches it. It runs along one side of the house, with an overhanging roof that will give shade in summer and shelter in winter.
‘You can’t buy it just because you like the terrace.’ Robin sounds bewildered when I tell her about the house. But my sister is nothing if not methodical and organised. Her head wins over her heart every time.
‘When you haven’t even seen it, you’re not entitled to an opinion,’ I tell her. ‘Come with me tomorrow and check it out.’
Robin’s blue eyes are wistful as she gazes at me. ‘Have you thought that maybe I don’t want you to move?’
For the last year, I’ve been living at Robin’s. She’s been my port in a storm, but things are changing. It’s time I stepped out into the world again. I shake my head. ‘You can’t wait to get me out of here – and you have Max now.’ Max is the latest man in her life – a really nice guy. ‘I’ve loved being here. But I’ve been cramping your style, Rob. You know and I know…’
She sighs. ‘How far away is it?’
‘Not far. About twenty minutes,’ I say firmly. ‘You can come for dinner. It’ll be like old times.’
* * *
When we get there the following day, as soon as she sees the house, a cloud crosses Robin’s face. ‘It’s too remote, Nathan. You don’t even have any neighbours. What if…’
I stop her. ‘I’m going to be fine here. You have to stop worrying about me.’
Her eyes are anxious. ‘Why don’t you stay with me a little longer?’
‘Sshhh.’ I hold a finger to her lips. ‘Can you hear that?’
As we stand there, she looks puzzled. ‘I can’t hear anything.’
‘Exactly.’ I nod. ‘That’s what I want – just the birds, the insects, even the wind.’ I’ve been craving this kind of peace in a way I never have before; viscerally.
Robin frowns. ‘This is so unlike you, Nathan. I mean, you like modern. And towns. Bars and life.’
