Page 79 of The Shape of Your Heart
‘Callie?’
It’s Max’s voice. Reluctantly I go to the door and open it.
He looks concerned. ‘I thought you might want to talk to someone. Are you OK?’
‘I’m upset.’ I shrug. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were going out with Nathan’s sister?’
‘Look, it’s pissing down out here. Can I come in?’
I stand back to let him in before closing the door. Folding my arms, I look at him.
He holds up his hands. ‘I didn’t even know you knew Nathan. I knew there was someone who was helping him with his garden, but your name never came up.’
‘What about Robin? Surely she must have known who I was?’
He shakes his head. ‘I don’t think she did.’
I feel the tension start to leave me as I start to believe him – and I know Nathan well enough to know he wouldn’t talk about me behind my back. ‘You must have known Nathan had a heart transplant.’
Max frowns. ‘Yes, but not from him. He keeps to himself about it. It was Robin who told me – in confidence. She worries about him. But the other thing…’
I’m instantly suspicious. ‘What other thing?’
His eyes are frank as he looks at me. ‘Registering as a heart donor… I had no idea what Liam’s view was.’
But I’m not buying it. ‘You were his closest friend. You must have talked about it.’
‘We didn’t.’ Max shrugs. ‘I’ve no idea why not. But I guess we all have things we prefer not to talk about.’
I’m astonished. I thought Liam and Max told each other almost everything. ‘So you and Robin… is it serious?’ I’m still trying to take in these connections I didn’t know about.
‘Yes.’
I stare at him, seeing how intertwined our lives are. But instead of that being a good thing, all the hopes I had that Nathan and I might one day be something seem to shatter around me. Max will always remind me of Liam. Now that Nathan does too, is it too much?
‘We haven’t talked about you, Cal,’ he says quietly. ‘Maybe we should have – but everyone has their own stuff going on. Nathan and Robin… they’re really good people – just so you know.’
I shrug. ‘I’m sure they are.’
He sighs quietly. ‘Look, give yourself some time to think about this. None of this is Nathan’s fault.’
‘I know that.’ But knowing what I do, I’m not sure how to move on from this.
* * *
Deciding that for a while, I’ll keep my distance from Nathan, I go to see my parents. As I drive along the familiar lanes it strikes me that this is one of the last times I’ll come to my childhood home. No question, everything is changing around me.
But when I go inside, beyond its bare bones, already little remains of the home I love. As I wander through the almost-empty rooms, a strange feeling settles over me. Some of the furniture has already gone, curtains taken down leaving unframed views across the garden. Even the sitting room is spartan, the sofa and armchairs all that remain here, every photo, picture and nick-nack packed away.
In the kitchen, my father is sitting at the table with a mug of tea. ‘Can I make you one?’ he offers.
‘I’d love one.’
I feel a pang of sadness as through the window I see my mother, fork in hand, digging up plants in the rain. ‘I’ll go and see if Mum would like one.’ Pulling on my coat again, I go to join her.
The grass squelches underfoot as I walk towards her. ‘Mum! You’re getting soaked. Why don’t you come inside for some tea?’
‘A little rain does no one any harm,’ she says firmly. ‘I’m just digging up a few plants to take with us.’ She pauses. ‘Actually, a cup of tea would be a jolly good idea. There’s something I want to talk to you about.’
