Page 85 of The Shape of Your Heart
‘I don’t know what to think.’ His eyes are troubled. ‘I know I’m different to how I used to be. I’ve always put it down to the fact that after being so ill, it’s a miracle to feel well again. But I have wondered if any of it’s to do with Liam.’
‘We’ll never know, will we?’ I say softly. ‘And maybe thewhymatters less than we think. It’swhoyou are that’s important.’
‘Do you mean that?’ His eyes lock on to mine.
I nod. ‘I’ve thought about it so much – and I really don’t want this to come between us,’ I say quietly.
‘Nor do I.’ His voice is husky as he gazes at me. ‘So how about this.’ He clasps one of my hands in one of his. ‘When you come back, if I ask you out, what would you say?’
A feeling of warmth comes over me as I smile back at him. ‘I think you know the answer to that.’
A smile comes over his face before he changes the subject. ‘So, you must be almost ready to go.’
‘I am. We leave tomorrow. I’m meeting Sasha at Portsmouth. I’m really looking forward to it. It’s funny. It isn’t good timing with my parents about to move, but I have this feeling I have to do this.’
He smiles. ‘I’ve told your mother if I can help in any way, she only has to call me.’
‘That’s so kind,’ I say quietly. ‘But shouldn’t you be taking it easy? Quiet life, no stress?’
‘Ha! Yes… supposedly. And I am.’ He looks at me. ‘I’ll be thinking of you on this walk.’
I smile at him. ‘When I come back, I’ll tell you about it.’
‘I’m going to look forward to it.’
Going outside, we take a quick meander through his garden. The hard work of last year is paying off and the garden will soon be glorious. ‘I’m sorry I’m going to miss it coming to life, but it’s really going to be lovely,’ I tell him.
‘Thanks to you.’ He turns to face me. ‘I’m going to miss you.’
‘You mean you’ll miss my obsessive outspokenness and my weeding skills,’ I joke.
‘Those, too.’ His eyes twinkle. ‘But mostly I’m just going to miss seeing you.’
* * *
I feel a quiet sense of peace as I drive away. It lasts only until I park outside my house and my mobile rings.
‘Hey, Sash! Are you ready for tomorrow?’
‘Callie, something terrible has happened.’ She sounds distraught. ‘I tripped going up the stairs at work this morning – I’ve broken my ankle.’
My heart misses a beat. This can’t be happening – now of all times. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course I’m sure. I saw the X-rays. I’m in plaster.’
‘But the walk,’ I say quietly. ‘We’re supposed to be leaving in the morning.’
She sounds wretched. ‘Could we put it off? I’m so sorry, Cal, but I won’t be going anywhere.’
‘I need to think.’ My head is spinning. I don’t know what to do – and it will be months before Sasha’s up to this much walking. ‘Look, just rest up, won’t you? I’ll call you tomorrow.’
As I end the call, I contemplate calling off the trip. Going outside, I take in the empty flower bed. My roadblock. Suddenly I realise I owe it to myself to do this. Just then, I hear a car pull up outside. It’s followed by the sound of doors slamming and children’s voices, as I realise Tanith’s here.
She’s desperate to come here; I can’t let her down. I decide here and now that I’m going on my own. that I’m not going to tell her about Sasha.
When I open the door, the boys come scooting in excitedly lugging bags. ‘Hi, guys! Make yourselves at home!’
Removing more bags from the back of her car, Tanith looks at me. ‘Hey! You all set for tomorrow?’
