Page 91 of The Shape of Your Heart
‘So how long were you and your girlfriend together?’
‘Too long.’ His lips twitch into a smile.
‘Obviously.’ I roll my eyes. ‘You didn’t see any warning signs?’
‘None. She told me she loved me every day, until the day she told me she didn’t and that she loved him…’
‘Ouch.’ I screw up my face. ‘Liam and I had a blip a week before the wedding. It turned out he was having second thoughts. He didn’t want kids… But we talked – and we got over it. If anything, it made us stronger.’
‘Wow. A week before?’
I nod. ‘I was completely in shock. He apologised and I forgave him.’ I shrug. ‘These things happen, don’t they?’
‘I guess.’ He glances sideways at me. ‘So since, has there been anyone else?’
I’m silent for a moment. But because I’ll never see Ryan again, I say what’s on my mind. ‘There is. And I’ve been fighting it – survivor guilt is a terrible thing.’ I pause. ‘It makes everything complicated.’ But as I think about Nathan’s heart, already I’m realising it’s only complicated because I’ve made it so. ‘I think I make things more difficult than they need to be.’
34
NATHAN
As spring blossoms across Cornwall, I find myself getting impatient. With the ground drying out, I want to get my camping business under way.
‘Can’t you chase them?’ As a football bounces our way, Tanith picks it up and lobs it back. ‘Sorry about that.’
‘It’s fine.’ Since she and her sons have become regular Sunday visitors, I’ve come to like watching the garden become a playground. ‘But in answer to your question, I’m leaving it to Simon. I trust he knows what he’s doing – and he knows I’m in a hurry to get on with this.’
Tanith looks at me curiously. ‘Have you heard from Callie?’
‘Not a word – and I wasn’t expecting to.’ I pause. ‘Have you?’
‘I’ve had a couple of texts,’ she says vaguely. ‘Sounds like she’s really enjoying herself.’ She frowns. ‘There’s one thing I’ve been meaning to ask you, though. Do you know anything about that empty bit in her flower bed?’
‘As it happens, I do.’ I tell her what Callie had told me, about the patch of soil she and Liam had intended to plant after their honeymoon that had come to signify the presence of loss in her life.
‘We should plant it up,’ Tanith says firmly. ‘Enough of this frigging symbolic emptiness. It isn’t healthy.’ She breaks off. ‘The problem is I don’t know a thing about plants.’
‘I’m not much better.’ I think for a moment. ‘But it just so happens I know someone who is.’
We’re interrupted by my mobile buzzing. Seeing Callie’s name flash up on the screen, I turn to Tanith. ‘Will you excuse me for a moment?’
Going outside, I answer the call. ‘Hi.’
‘Hello.’ The single word somehow conveys her happiness. ‘How are you?’
‘Good, really good. More to the point, how are you? How’s the walk?’
‘It’s amazing, Nathan. The scenery is stunning, everyone’s so friendly…’ She sounds bubbly, filled with enthusiasm. ‘Honestly, I’m so happy I’ve come here.’
‘I’m so pleased.’
‘Thanks.’ She hesitates. ‘So how are you, really? I have been worried about you.’
Knowing she’s been thinking of me warms my heart. ‘I’m feeling better, thanks. Trying to take things slowly for once.’
‘Progress,’ she says teasingly. ‘Anyway, it’s just a quick call. I’d better get on. I’ve a few more miles to go before it’s dark.’
‘Take care,’ I say softly.
